06-01-简·爱 [77]
．I began to understand how，if I were his wife， this good， religious man could soon kill me，without feeling any guilt at all．
When he asked me again， we were alone in the sitting－room． He put his hand on my head and spoke quietly in his deep， sincere voice．'Remember， Jane， God calls us to work for Him，and will reward us for it．Say you will marry me，and earn your place in heaven！'I admired and respected him，and under his touch my mind was changing． I was tempted to stop struggling against him， as I had been tempted before，in a different way， by Mr Rochester．The missionary gently held my hand．I could resist his anger， but not his gentleness．I desperately wanted to do what was right．
'If I felt certain，'I answered finally，'that God really wanted me to marry you， I would agree！'
'My prayers are heard！'cried St John． Close together we stood， waiting for a sign from heaven． I was more excited than I had ever been before． There was a total silence in the house，and the room was full of moonlight．Suddenly my heart stopped beating， and I heard a distant voice cry，'Jane！ Jane！Jane！'—nothing more．Where did it come from？It was the voice of Edward Rochester， and it spoke in sadness and in pain．
'I'm coming！'I cried．'Wait for me！'I ran into the garden calling，'Where are you？'Only the hills sent a faint echo back．
I broke away from St John， who had followed， asking me questions．It was my time to give orders now． I told him to leave me， and he obeyed．In my room I fell to my knees to thank God for the sign He had sent me， and waited eagerly for daylight．
■ 23 往昔的呼唤
我答应在莫顿的那个学校住到圣诞节，那时圣约翰会找到另外一位教师。圣诞节放假时他在学校。要和我的一些学生道别，我感到很难过。
“你瞧她们进步多大！而你才工作了不过几个月的时间！”他说。“想像一下，如果你一生从事教育会成就多大的善事啊！”
“是的，”我答道，“但我不能一直教下去。别提学校了，我现在放假了！”
他表情严肃起来：“你有什么打算？”
“我想请你把汉娜借给我几天。我要和她从上到下彻底打扫摩尔屋，做好各种圣诞节的准备。你一个男人，对此一无所知。戴安娜和玛丽下星期回家时，应该一切就绪，我们要过一个真正精彩的节日。”
圣约翰笑了，但他对我还不满足。“眼下这样很好。不过，简，我希望你能超越家居琐事，看得更高一点，思考一下用更好的办法以你的精力和智慧为上帝服务。”
“圣约翰，我高兴的原因太多了。尽管你批评我，我还是下决心要快快乐乐的。”
那一星期里，我和汉娜干得比任何时候都卖力，不过一切终于就绪了。戴安娜和玛丽经过长途跋涉到家时都冻僵了。她们看到了温暖的炉火，锃亮的家具，还闻到了蛋糕和炉子上炖肉的香味。又见到她们的面真让人高兴。
圣诞节的一星期里，我们三人过得兴高采烈。沼泽地上的空气、家中的自由自在以及独立生活的开始，使戴安娜和玛丽显得比我见过的任何时候都要高兴。只有圣约翰没有加入我们的谈话和欢笑。他继续他的学习，并像往常一样花许多时间看望病人。
“你还想做一个传教土吗？”戴安娜一次有点儿伤心地问他。
“什么也没有改变，什么也改变不了我的打算。”他回答说。“我几个月后就离开英格兰。”
“那罗莎蒙特·奥利弗小姐呢？”玛丽轻声问。
“罗莎蒙特·奥利弗小姐已经和一位格兰比先生订婚，据她父亲说，是个很匹配的年轻人。”他表情很平静。我意识到他已克服了他所说的所谓的弱点。
在摩尔屋的生活渐渐褪去了节日的气氛，我
When he asked me again， we were alone in the sitting－room． He put his hand on my head and spoke quietly in his deep， sincere voice．'Remember， Jane， God calls us to work for Him，and will reward us for it．Say you will marry me，and earn your place in heaven！'I admired and respected him，and under his touch my mind was changing． I was tempted to stop struggling against him， as I had been tempted before，in a different way， by Mr Rochester．The missionary gently held my hand．I could resist his anger， but not his gentleness．I desperately wanted to do what was right．
'If I felt certain，'I answered finally，'that God really wanted me to marry you， I would agree！'
'My prayers are heard！'cried St John． Close together we stood， waiting for a sign from heaven． I was more excited than I had ever been before． There was a total silence in the house，and the room was full of moonlight．Suddenly my heart stopped beating， and I heard a distant voice cry，'Jane！ Jane！Jane！'—nothing more．Where did it come from？It was the voice of Edward Rochester， and it spoke in sadness and in pain．
'I'm coming！'I cried．'Wait for me！'I ran into the garden calling，'Where are you？'Only the hills sent a faint echo back．
I broke away from St John， who had followed， asking me questions．It was my time to give orders now． I told him to leave me， and he obeyed．In my room I fell to my knees to thank God for the sign He had sent me， and waited eagerly for daylight．
■ 23 往昔的呼唤
我答应在莫顿的那个学校住到圣诞节，那时圣约翰会找到另外一位教师。圣诞节放假时他在学校。要和我的一些学生道别，我感到很难过。
“你瞧她们进步多大！而你才工作了不过几个月的时间！”他说。“想像一下，如果你一生从事教育会成就多大的善事啊！”
“是的，”我答道，“但我不能一直教下去。别提学校了，我现在放假了！”
他表情严肃起来：“你有什么打算？”
“我想请你把汉娜借给我几天。我要和她从上到下彻底打扫摩尔屋，做好各种圣诞节的准备。你一个男人，对此一无所知。戴安娜和玛丽下星期回家时，应该一切就绪，我们要过一个真正精彩的节日。”
圣约翰笑了，但他对我还不满足。“眼下这样很好。不过，简，我希望你能超越家居琐事，看得更高一点，思考一下用更好的办法以你的精力和智慧为上帝服务。”
“圣约翰，我高兴的原因太多了。尽管你批评我，我还是下决心要快快乐乐的。”
那一星期里，我和汉娜干得比任何时候都卖力，不过一切终于就绪了。戴安娜和玛丽经过长途跋涉到家时都冻僵了。她们看到了温暖的炉火，锃亮的家具，还闻到了蛋糕和炉子上炖肉的香味。又见到她们的面真让人高兴。
圣诞节的一星期里，我们三人过得兴高采烈。沼泽地上的空气、家中的自由自在以及独立生活的开始，使戴安娜和玛丽显得比我见过的任何时候都要高兴。只有圣约翰没有加入我们的谈话和欢笑。他继续他的学习，并像往常一样花许多时间看望病人。
“你还想做一个传教土吗？”戴安娜一次有点儿伤心地问他。
“什么也没有改变，什么也改变不了我的打算。”他回答说。“我几个月后就离开英格兰。”
“那罗莎蒙特·奥利弗小姐呢？”玛丽轻声问。
“罗莎蒙特·奥利弗小姐已经和一位格兰比先生订婚，据她父亲说，是个很匹配的年轻人。”他表情很平静。我意识到他已克服了他所说的所谓的弱点。
在摩尔屋的生活渐渐褪去了节日的气氛，我