05-04-远离尘嚣 [66]
herself for Troy's death，and would have blamed herself even more for Boldwood's.
Her health improved only very slowly. She hardly ever went out of the house or garden，and did not discuss her feelings with anyone，even Liddy. But by the summer she was begin-ning to spend more time in the open air，and one August evening she walked to the churchyard. She could hear the village children inside the church practising their singing for Sunday. She went straight to Fanny's grave，and read Troy's words on the large gravestone：
This stone was put up by Francis Troy in loving memory of Fanny Robin，who died on October 9，1866，aged 20Underneath，on the same stone，were the words she had added：
In the same grave lies Francis Troy who died on December 24，1867，aged 26
As she listened to the sweet voices of the children coming from the church，and thought of the pain she had experienced in her short life，tears came to her eyes. She wished she were as innocent as those children again. She was still crying when she suddenly noticed Gabriel Oak，who had come up the path on his way to the church，and was watching her sympathetically.
‘Are you going in？’she asked，trying to dry her tears.
‘I was，’he replied. ‘I'm one of the church singers，you know，and tonight's my practice evening. But I don't think I'll go in now. ’There was a pause，while they both tried to think of something to say. At last Gabriel said slowly，‘I haven't seen you，to speak to，for a long time. Are you better now？’
‘Yes，I am，’she replied. ‘I came to look at the gravestone. ’
‘Eight months ago it happened！’said Gabriel. ‘It seems like yesterday to me. ’
‘And to me it seems like years，long years ago. ’
‘There's something I must tell you，’said Gabriel，hesitating. ‘The fact is，I won't be your farm manager much longer. I'm thinking of leaving England，and farming in America. ’
‘Leaving England！’she cried in surprise and disappoint-ment. ‘But everyone thought you would rent poor Mr Bold-wood's farm and manage it yourself！’
‘The lawyers have offered it to me，it's true. But I'll be leaving Weatherbury next spring. I have my reasons. ’
‘And what shall I do without you？Oh Gabriel，we're such old friends！You've helped me so much in the past，and now that I'm more helpless than ever，you're going away！’
‘It's unfortunate，’said Gabriel unhappily. ‘It's because of that helplessness that I have to go，’and he walked so guickly out of the churchyard that she could not follow him.
In the next few months Bathsheba noticed miserably that Gabriel communicated with her as little as possible，and then only by messenger. She could not avoid thinking that he，the last friend she had，had lost interest in supporting her，and was about to desert her. On the day after Christmas she received the letter from him which she had been expecting. In it he explained that he would leave the farm in three months’time.
Bathsheba sat and cried bitterly over this letter. She was deeply hurt that Gabriel no longer loved her. She was also worried about having to manage the farm by herself again. She thought about it all morning，and was so depressed by the afternoon that she put on her cloak and found her way to where Gabriel lived. She knocked at the door.
‘Who is it？’said Gabriel，opening the door. ‘Oh，It's you，mistress！’
‘I won't be your mistress much longer，will I，Gabriel？’she said sadly.
‘Well，no，I suppose not. ’
Because these two people，who knew each other well，were meeting in a strange place，they felt like the strangers they were when they first met，and neither spoke for a moment.
‘Gabriel，perhaps I shouldn't have come，but I—I thought I must have offended you，and that's why you're going away.
‘Offended me！You couldn't do that，Bathsheba！’
Her health improved only very slowly. She hardly ever went out of the house or garden，and did not discuss her feelings with anyone，even Liddy. But by the summer she was begin-ning to spend more time in the open air，and one August evening she walked to the churchyard. She could hear the village children inside the church practising their singing for Sunday. She went straight to Fanny's grave，and read Troy's words on the large gravestone：
This stone was put up by Francis Troy in loving memory of Fanny Robin，who died on October 9，1866，aged 20Underneath，on the same stone，were the words she had added：
In the same grave lies Francis Troy who died on December 24，1867，aged 26
As she listened to the sweet voices of the children coming from the church，and thought of the pain she had experienced in her short life，tears came to her eyes. She wished she were as innocent as those children again. She was still crying when she suddenly noticed Gabriel Oak，who had come up the path on his way to the church，and was watching her sympathetically.
‘Are you going in？’she asked，trying to dry her tears.
‘I was，’he replied. ‘I'm one of the church singers，you know，and tonight's my practice evening. But I don't think I'll go in now. ’There was a pause，while they both tried to think of something to say. At last Gabriel said slowly，‘I haven't seen you，to speak to，for a long time. Are you better now？’
‘Yes，I am，’she replied. ‘I came to look at the gravestone. ’
‘Eight months ago it happened！’said Gabriel. ‘It seems like yesterday to me. ’
‘And to me it seems like years，long years ago. ’
‘There's something I must tell you，’said Gabriel，hesitating. ‘The fact is，I won't be your farm manager much longer. I'm thinking of leaving England，and farming in America. ’
‘Leaving England！’she cried in surprise and disappoint-ment. ‘But everyone thought you would rent poor Mr Bold-wood's farm and manage it yourself！’
‘The lawyers have offered it to me，it's true. But I'll be leaving Weatherbury next spring. I have my reasons. ’
‘And what shall I do without you？Oh Gabriel，we're such old friends！You've helped me so much in the past，and now that I'm more helpless than ever，you're going away！’
‘It's unfortunate，’said Gabriel unhappily. ‘It's because of that helplessness that I have to go，’and he walked so guickly out of the churchyard that she could not follow him.
In the next few months Bathsheba noticed miserably that Gabriel communicated with her as little as possible，and then only by messenger. She could not avoid thinking that he，the last friend she had，had lost interest in supporting her，and was about to desert her. On the day after Christmas she received the letter from him which she had been expecting. In it he explained that he would leave the farm in three months’time.
Bathsheba sat and cried bitterly over this letter. She was deeply hurt that Gabriel no longer loved her. She was also worried about having to manage the farm by herself again. She thought about it all morning，and was so depressed by the afternoon that she put on her cloak and found her way to where Gabriel lived. She knocked at the door.
‘Who is it？’said Gabriel，opening the door. ‘Oh，It's you，mistress！’
‘I won't be your mistress much longer，will I，Gabriel？’she said sadly.
‘Well，no，I suppose not. ’
Because these two people，who knew each other well，were meeting in a strange place，they felt like the strangers they were when they first met，and neither spoke for a moment.
‘Gabriel，perhaps I shouldn't have come，but I—I thought I must have offended you，and that's why you're going away.
‘Offended me！You couldn't do that，Bathsheba！’