06-04-苔丝 [17]
， mother．’
‘What，isn't your cousin going to marry you？’
‘He's not my cousin， and he's not going to marry me．’
Her mother looked at her closely．‘Come，you haven't told me everything．’
Then Tess went up to her mother，put her head on Joan's shoulder，and told her the whole story．
‘And you haven't persuaded him to marry you！’cried Joan． ‘What's the good of going there？ Why didn't you think of doing some good for your family instead of thinking only of yourself？’
Tess was confused． Alec had never mentioned marriage to her．But even if he had，she would never have accepted him， because she did not love him．This made her hate herself for what she had done．She would certainly never love him in the future． She did not quite hate him， but did not wish to marry him，even to remain respectable．
‘You ought to have been more careful if you didn't want to marry him！’
‘Oh mother！’cried the poor girl，her heart breaking．‘Why didn't you warn me about men？I was a child when I left home！I didn't know how dangerous they can be，and you didn't tell me！’
‘Well，we must make the best of it，’said her mother．‘It's only human nature， after all．’
That afternoon the little cottage was full of Tess's friends， girls who lived in the village and who had missed her while she had been away．They whispered to each other that Tess was sure to marry that handsome gentleman．Fortunately Tess did not hear them．She joined in their laughing and talking，and for a short time almost forgot her shame．
But the next day was Monday，the beginning of the working week， when there were no best clothes and no visitors．She awoke with the innocent children asleep around her，she who had lost her innocence． She looked into her future，and grew very depressed． She knew she had to travel on a long，stony road， without help or sympathy． She had nothing to look forward to，and she wanted to die．
In the next few weeks， however， she became more cheerful， and went to church one Sunday morning． She loved listening to the well－known tunes， and gave herself up to the beauty of the music．She wondered at the composer's power． From the grave he could make a girl like her， who had never known him，feel extremes of emotion． She sat in a quiet，dark corner listening to the service．But when the village people arrived at church they noticed her and started whispering to each other．She knew what they were saying and realized she could come to church no more．
So she spent almost all her time in her bedroom，which she shared with the children． From here she watched the wind， the snow，the rain，beautiful sunsets and full moons，one after another．People began to think she had gone away． She only went out after dark， to walk in the woods and the fields． She was not afraid of the dark or the shadows； it was people she was anxious to avoid． She was at home on the lonely hills， but she felt guilty surrounded by innocent nature． When it rained， she thought nature was crying at her weakness，and when the midnight wind blew she thought nature was angry with her．But she did not realize that although she had broken an accepted social rule， she had done nothing against nature． She was as innocent as the sleeping birds in the trees，or the small field animals in the hedges．
■ 不再是处女
■ 6
这是10月末的一个星期天的上午，苔丝来到纯瑞脊已有四个来月，距离骑马到逐猎林那个晚上也有几个星期了。挎着一个沉重的篮子和包袱，苔丝正朝那些把她与她出生所在的山谷分开的山峦走去。这边的风土人情与她村里的大不相同。马勒特村的人们主要想着往北部和西部迁移，而这边的人们感兴趣的是东部和南部。她正向一个山头爬去，6月的一天，就是在这座山头，德伯曾疯狂地
‘What，isn't your cousin going to marry you？’
‘He's not my cousin， and he's not going to marry me．’
Her mother looked at her closely．‘Come，you haven't told me everything．’
Then Tess went up to her mother，put her head on Joan's shoulder，and told her the whole story．
‘And you haven't persuaded him to marry you！’cried Joan． ‘What's the good of going there？ Why didn't you think of doing some good for your family instead of thinking only of yourself？’
Tess was confused． Alec had never mentioned marriage to her．But even if he had，she would never have accepted him， because she did not love him．This made her hate herself for what she had done．She would certainly never love him in the future． She did not quite hate him， but did not wish to marry him，even to remain respectable．
‘You ought to have been more careful if you didn't want to marry him！’
‘Oh mother！’cried the poor girl，her heart breaking．‘Why didn't you warn me about men？I was a child when I left home！I didn't know how dangerous they can be，and you didn't tell me！’
‘Well，we must make the best of it，’said her mother．‘It's only human nature， after all．’
That afternoon the little cottage was full of Tess's friends， girls who lived in the village and who had missed her while she had been away．They whispered to each other that Tess was sure to marry that handsome gentleman．Fortunately Tess did not hear them．She joined in their laughing and talking，and for a short time almost forgot her shame．
But the next day was Monday，the beginning of the working week， when there were no best clothes and no visitors．She awoke with the innocent children asleep around her，she who had lost her innocence． She looked into her future，and grew very depressed． She knew she had to travel on a long，stony road， without help or sympathy． She had nothing to look forward to，and she wanted to die．
In the next few weeks， however， she became more cheerful， and went to church one Sunday morning． She loved listening to the well－known tunes， and gave herself up to the beauty of the music．She wondered at the composer's power． From the grave he could make a girl like her， who had never known him，feel extremes of emotion． She sat in a quiet，dark corner listening to the service．But when the village people arrived at church they noticed her and started whispering to each other．She knew what they were saying and realized she could come to church no more．
So she spent almost all her time in her bedroom，which she shared with the children． From here she watched the wind， the snow，the rain，beautiful sunsets and full moons，one after another．People began to think she had gone away． She only went out after dark， to walk in the woods and the fields． She was not afraid of the dark or the shadows； it was people she was anxious to avoid． She was at home on the lonely hills， but she felt guilty surrounded by innocent nature． When it rained， she thought nature was crying at her weakness，and when the midnight wind blew she thought nature was angry with her．But she did not realize that although she had broken an accepted social rule， she had done nothing against nature． She was as innocent as the sleeping birds in the trees，or the small field animals in the hedges．
■ 不再是处女
■ 6
这是10月末的一个星期天的上午，苔丝来到纯瑞脊已有四个来月，距离骑马到逐猎林那个晚上也有几个星期了。挎着一个沉重的篮子和包袱，苔丝正朝那些把她与她出生所在的山谷分开的山峦走去。这边的风土人情与她村里的大不相同。马勒特村的人们主要想着往北部和西部迁移，而这边的人们感兴趣的是东部和南部。她正向一个山头爬去，6月的一天，就是在这座山头，德伯曾疯狂地