06-01-简·爱 [79]
手放在我的头上，用深沉而真诚的声音轻声地说：“简，记住，上帝呼唤我们为他工作，并将为此奖赏我们。说，你会嫁给我，去争取你在天堂的位置。”我仰慕他、尊重他，在他的触摸下我的想法开始变化。我有些想停止对他的反抗，就像过去在另一种情形下受到罗切斯特先生的诱惑一样。传教士温柔地握着我的手。我可以抵抗他的气愤，却无法抗拒他的温柔。我竭力想把事情做对。
我最后说：“如果我的确感到上帝真的想让我和你结婚，我会同意的。”
“我的祈祷显灵了！”圣约翰叫道。我们紧紧站在一起，等待来自天堂的信号。我从未像现在这样激动。屋里一片寂静，月光洒了一地。突然，我的心好像停止了跳动。我听到一个遥远的声音呼唤着：“简！简！简！”再没有别的了。这是从哪儿传来的？这是罗切斯特先生的声音，悲伤而痛苦。
“我来了！”我喊着。“等等我！”我跑进花园喊着：“你在哪儿？”只有山丘隐约的回声。
我从圣约翰身边挣脱着跑出来，他跟在我后面追问着。现在该轮到我下命令了。我让他离开我，他遵从了。回到自己的房间后，我跪到地上。感谢上帝给我带来的讯息。我急切地盼着天亮。
■ Part Five - A Wife At Ferndean Manor
■ 24 Returning to Thornfield
In the morning I explained to Diana and Mary that I had to go on a journey， and would be away for several days． Although they did not know the reason for my journey，they were far too sensitive to my feelings to bother me with questions．
And so I walked to Whitcross，the lonely crossroads on the moor，where I had arrived a year ago with no money or luggage．I took the coach， and after thirty－six hours of travelling I got down at Thornfield village， and almost ran across the fields in my hurry to see the well－known house again，and its owner．I decided to approach from the front， to get the best view of the house． From there I would be able to see my master's window．'He might even be walking in the gardens，'I thought，'and I could run to him，touch him！Surely that wouldn't hurt anybody？'
But when I reached the great stone columns of the main gate，I stood still in horror． There， where I had hoped to see a fine， impressive house， was nothing but a blackened heap of stones，with the silence of death about it．No wonder that letters addressed to people here had never received an answer．There must have been a great fire．How had it started？Had any lives been lost？ I ran back to the village to find answers to my questions．
'Well，ma'am，'the hotel－owner told me，'I was one of Mr Rochester's servants at the time， and I can tell you it was his mad wife who started the fire in the governess's room． The master had been wildly in love with the governess， you see，ma'am， although she was just a plain little thing， and when she disappeared， he almost went mad． His wife must have understood enough to be jealous of the girl．Anyway，in the fire the master risked his life helping all the servants out of the house， then bravely went back to save the mad woman． We saw her jump from the roof and fall to her death． But because he went back to help her，he was badly injured in the fire，losing a hand and the sight of both eyes．Very sad， ma'am．'
'Where is he now？'I asked urgently．
'At another house of his， Ferndean Manor， thirty miles away．
I hired a carriage to drive there at once．
■ 第五部 枫丹庄园的女主人
■ 24 回到特恩费得
早晨，我跟戴安娜和玛丽解释说我必须出门，离开几天。尽管她们不知道我出门的原因，但她们都小心地顾及着我的感觉，没有多问什么。
于是我走到威特考斯。一年前，我曾身无分文来到这块沼泽地上的十
我最后说：“如果我的确感到上帝真的想让我和你结婚，我会同意的。”
“我的祈祷显灵了！”圣约翰叫道。我们紧紧站在一起，等待来自天堂的信号。我从未像现在这样激动。屋里一片寂静，月光洒了一地。突然，我的心好像停止了跳动。我听到一个遥远的声音呼唤着：“简！简！简！”再没有别的了。这是从哪儿传来的？这是罗切斯特先生的声音，悲伤而痛苦。
“我来了！”我喊着。“等等我！”我跑进花园喊着：“你在哪儿？”只有山丘隐约的回声。
我从圣约翰身边挣脱着跑出来，他跟在我后面追问着。现在该轮到我下命令了。我让他离开我，他遵从了。回到自己的房间后，我跪到地上。感谢上帝给我带来的讯息。我急切地盼着天亮。
■ Part Five - A Wife At Ferndean Manor
■ 24 Returning to Thornfield
In the morning I explained to Diana and Mary that I had to go on a journey， and would be away for several days． Although they did not know the reason for my journey，they were far too sensitive to my feelings to bother me with questions．
And so I walked to Whitcross，the lonely crossroads on the moor，where I had arrived a year ago with no money or luggage．I took the coach， and after thirty－six hours of travelling I got down at Thornfield village， and almost ran across the fields in my hurry to see the well－known house again，and its owner．I decided to approach from the front， to get the best view of the house． From there I would be able to see my master's window．'He might even be walking in the gardens，'I thought，'and I could run to him，touch him！Surely that wouldn't hurt anybody？'
But when I reached the great stone columns of the main gate，I stood still in horror． There， where I had hoped to see a fine， impressive house， was nothing but a blackened heap of stones，with the silence of death about it．No wonder that letters addressed to people here had never received an answer．There must have been a great fire．How had it started？Had any lives been lost？ I ran back to the village to find answers to my questions．
'Well，ma'am，'the hotel－owner told me，'I was one of Mr Rochester's servants at the time， and I can tell you it was his mad wife who started the fire in the governess's room． The master had been wildly in love with the governess， you see，ma'am， although she was just a plain little thing， and when she disappeared， he almost went mad． His wife must have understood enough to be jealous of the girl．Anyway，in the fire the master risked his life helping all the servants out of the house， then bravely went back to save the mad woman． We saw her jump from the roof and fall to her death． But because he went back to help her，he was badly injured in the fire，losing a hand and the sight of both eyes．Very sad， ma'am．'
'Where is he now？'I asked urgently．
'At another house of his， Ferndean Manor， thirty miles away．
I hired a carriage to drive there at once．
■ 第五部 枫丹庄园的女主人
■ 24 回到特恩费得
早晨，我跟戴安娜和玛丽解释说我必须出门，离开几天。尽管她们不知道我出门的原因，但她们都小心地顾及着我的感觉，没有多问什么。
于是我走到威特考斯。一年前，我曾身无分文来到这块沼泽地上的十