06-01-简·爱 [60]
，my dear master！'I said．'May God protect you！'
'Without your love，Jane，my heart is broken，'he said．'But perhaps you will，so generously，give me your love after all—'He jumped up with hope in his eyes，holding out his arms to me．But I turned and ran out of the room．
That night I only slept a little， dreaming of the red room at Gateshead．The moonlight shone into my bedroom，as it did then，and I saw a vision on the ceiling，a white figure looking down on me．It seemed to whisper to my spirit，'Daughter，leave now before you are tempted to stay．'
'Mother，I will，'I answered．And when I woke up，although it was still dark outside，I wrapped up some spare clothes in a parcel，and put a little money in a purse．As I crept downstairs，I could hear Mr Rochester in his room，walking up and down and sighing．I could find heaven in this room if I wanted．I just had to enter and say，'I will love you and live with you through life until death！'My hand moved towards the handle．But I stopped myself，and went miserably downstairs and out of the house．
Setting out on the road，I could not help thinking of Mr Rochester's despair when he found himself abandoned．I hated myself for wounding him，and for perhaps driving him to a life of wickedness，or even death．I wanted desperately to be with him，to comfort him，but somehow I made myself keep walking，and when a coach passed，I arranged to travel on it as far as my money would pay for．Inside the coach I cried the bitterest tears of my life．
■ 18 罗切斯特先生的解释
下午不知什么时候，我感觉好些了，但站起来时仍感到头晕，我这才意识到我已一整天没吃一点儿东西了。于是我打开卧室的房门，几乎扑倒在就坐在门外椅子上的罗切斯特先生身上。
“简，我一直在等着你。”他说，“我没听到你叫喊或是哭泣。你不生我的气吗？我本无意伤害你。你能原谅我吗？”
他说得那么真诚，我立刻就在心里原谅了他。
“简，骂我吧！告诉我我有多么坏！”他说。
“先生，我不能。我感到很累、很虚。我想喝点水。”
他双手将我抱起，将我抱到楼下的书房，把我放在炉火前，递上了一杯酒，我开始感到好些了。他俯身要吻我，但我断然把脸扭开了。
“怎么！”他喊道，“你拒绝吻我！因为我是伯莎·梅森的丈夫？是不是？”
“是的，先生。”
“简，我非常了解你。我知道如果你决心已下，你是不会动摇的。你打算毁掉我幸福的希望，你想从今往后和我成为陌路人。如果今后我对你友好，你会提醒自己：'这个人差点儿让我成了他的情妇——我必须对他冷若冰霜。'你的确会变得冷若冰霜的。”
“是这样，先生，”我说，努力控制住自己的声音不让它发抖。“我周围的一切的确都发生了变化，所以我也必须改变。阿黛拉必须有位新老师。”
“啊，阿黛拉去上寄宿学校，我已经决定了。你和我将离开这幢房子，这狭小的石头地狱，这活死人的宅邸。在这里和那个女人在同一屋檐下，我们永远不会幸福。噢，我恨她！”
“先生，你不该恨她。”我说，“她疯了，可怜兮兮的，这并不是她的错。”
“简，亲爱的，我不是因为她疯而恨她。如果你疯了，我不会恨你，我会满怀爱心地照顾你。可是，为什么要说什么疯不疯的？我们已做好出发的准备，所有行李都整理好了，我们明天离开。我有一个地方可去，那儿没人找得到我们，也没人议论我们……”
“先生，带上阿黛拉吧，她会陪伴你。”我打断他。我知道我必须马上告诉他了。
“阿黛拉？简，你是什么意思？她要上学。我不需要她，我想和你在一起。你明白吗？”
我明白
'Without your love，Jane，my heart is broken，'he said．'But perhaps you will，so generously，give me your love after all—'He jumped up with hope in his eyes，holding out his arms to me．But I turned and ran out of the room．
That night I only slept a little， dreaming of the red room at Gateshead．The moonlight shone into my bedroom，as it did then，and I saw a vision on the ceiling，a white figure looking down on me．It seemed to whisper to my spirit，'Daughter，leave now before you are tempted to stay．'
'Mother，I will，'I answered．And when I woke up，although it was still dark outside，I wrapped up some spare clothes in a parcel，and put a little money in a purse．As I crept downstairs，I could hear Mr Rochester in his room，walking up and down and sighing．I could find heaven in this room if I wanted．I just had to enter and say，'I will love you and live with you through life until death！'My hand moved towards the handle．But I stopped myself，and went miserably downstairs and out of the house．
Setting out on the road，I could not help thinking of Mr Rochester's despair when he found himself abandoned．I hated myself for wounding him，and for perhaps driving him to a life of wickedness，or even death．I wanted desperately to be with him，to comfort him，but somehow I made myself keep walking，and when a coach passed，I arranged to travel on it as far as my money would pay for．Inside the coach I cried the bitterest tears of my life．
■ 18 罗切斯特先生的解释
下午不知什么时候，我感觉好些了，但站起来时仍感到头晕，我这才意识到我已一整天没吃一点儿东西了。于是我打开卧室的房门，几乎扑倒在就坐在门外椅子上的罗切斯特先生身上。
“简，我一直在等着你。”他说，“我没听到你叫喊或是哭泣。你不生我的气吗？我本无意伤害你。你能原谅我吗？”
他说得那么真诚，我立刻就在心里原谅了他。
“简，骂我吧！告诉我我有多么坏！”他说。
“先生，我不能。我感到很累、很虚。我想喝点水。”
他双手将我抱起，将我抱到楼下的书房，把我放在炉火前，递上了一杯酒，我开始感到好些了。他俯身要吻我，但我断然把脸扭开了。
“怎么！”他喊道，“你拒绝吻我！因为我是伯莎·梅森的丈夫？是不是？”
“是的，先生。”
“简，我非常了解你。我知道如果你决心已下，你是不会动摇的。你打算毁掉我幸福的希望，你想从今往后和我成为陌路人。如果今后我对你友好，你会提醒自己：'这个人差点儿让我成了他的情妇——我必须对他冷若冰霜。'你的确会变得冷若冰霜的。”
“是这样，先生，”我说，努力控制住自己的声音不让它发抖。“我周围的一切的确都发生了变化，所以我也必须改变。阿黛拉必须有位新老师。”
“啊，阿黛拉去上寄宿学校，我已经决定了。你和我将离开这幢房子，这狭小的石头地狱，这活死人的宅邸。在这里和那个女人在同一屋檐下，我们永远不会幸福。噢，我恨她！”
“先生，你不该恨她。”我说，“她疯了，可怜兮兮的，这并不是她的错。”
“简，亲爱的，我不是因为她疯而恨她。如果你疯了，我不会恨你，我会满怀爱心地照顾你。可是，为什么要说什么疯不疯的？我们已做好出发的准备，所有行李都整理好了，我们明天离开。我有一个地方可去，那儿没人找得到我们，也没人议论我们……”
“先生，带上阿黛拉吧，她会陪伴你。”我打断他。我知道我必须马上告诉他了。
“阿黛拉？简，你是什么意思？她要上学。我不需要她，我想和你在一起。你明白吗？”
我明白