05-01-远大前程 [40]
of two convicts， who were being taken to the prison-ships by their guard．The prisoners wore handcuffs， and iron chains on their legs． With horror I suddenly recognized one of them－it was the man in our village pub who had given me the two pound notes！ and strangely enough， during the journey I heard the prisoners talking about it．
‘So Magwitch asked you to give the boy two pounds？Trusted you to do it？’
‘That's right．And I did what he asked．The boy had helped him， you see． Fed him， and kept his secret．’
‘What happened to Magwitch in the end？’
‘They sent him to Australia for life， because he tried to es-cape from the prison－ship．’
I knew I looked so different that he would not recognize me， but I was afraid all the same． All the horror of my child－hood experience with the escaped convict had come back to me， just when I thought it was safe to forget it．
But once we had arrived，and I was on my way to Miss Havisham's house，I thought only of my bright future．She had adopted Estella，she had more or less adopted me． She perhaps wanted me to inherit the dark old house and to marry Estella． But even though I was in love， I didn't hide from myself the fact that I would be unhappy with Estella． I loved her because I couldn't stop myself loving her．
I was surprised to see Orlick opening the gate to me．
‘So you aren't working for Joe any longer？’I asked．
‘As you see， young master，’he said rudely．
I knew he could not be trusted， and I decided to tell Mr Jaggers that Orlick was not responsible enough to work for Miss Havisham． Mr Jaggers would probably send him away．
When I entered Miss Havisham's room， there was a well－dressed lady sitting with her． When she lifted her head and looked at me， I realized it was Estella． She had become so beautiful that I felt very distant from her． In spite of all my education， I still seemed to be the coarse， common boy she used to laugh at．
‘She's changed very much，hasn't she， Pip？’ asked Miss Havisham， laughing wickedly．I replied confusedly． I could see that Estella was still proud， and I knew that it was she who made me feel ashamed of home， and Joe，but I also knew that I could never stop loving her．
She and I walked in the ancient garden， talking quietly about our childhood meetings．Now that we were adults， she seemed to accept me as a friend．I could not have been happier． I felt sure Miss Havisham had chosen us for each other． What a fool I was！
Suddenly she stopped and turned to me．‘Miss Havisham may want us to spend more time together in future． But in that case I must warn you that I have no heart．I can never fall in love．’
‘I can't believe that，’ I replied． As she looked straight at me， I recognized something in her face． Had I seen that ex－pression recently，on another woman？
When we went back to the house，Miss Havisham spoke to me alone．‘Do you admire her， Pip？’ she asked eagerly．
‘Everbody who sees her must admire her．’
She pulled my head down to hers with her bony arm and whispered，‘Love her，love her，love her！If she likes you，love her！ If she hurts you， love her！ If she tears your heart to pieces，love her！’I could feel the muscles on her thin arm round my neck． She seemed so angry that she could have been talking about hate， or revenge， or death， rather than love．
■ 9 乔的来访
“我亲爱的匹普：
葛吉瑞先生让我告诉你，他马上到伦敦，如果你方便的话，将在星期二早晨9点钟在赫伯特·朴凯特的房间里拜访你，我和他每天晚上都谈论你，想知道你说的和干的事情。
最美好的祝愿。
毕蒂。
又及：即使你现在是一位绅士了，我希望你不会拒绝见他，他真是一个好人。”
我星期一
‘So Magwitch asked you to give the boy two pounds？Trusted you to do it？’
‘That's right．And I did what he asked．The boy had helped him， you see． Fed him， and kept his secret．’
‘What happened to Magwitch in the end？’
‘They sent him to Australia for life， because he tried to es-cape from the prison－ship．’
I knew I looked so different that he would not recognize me， but I was afraid all the same． All the horror of my child－hood experience with the escaped convict had come back to me， just when I thought it was safe to forget it．
But once we had arrived，and I was on my way to Miss Havisham's house，I thought only of my bright future．She had adopted Estella，she had more or less adopted me． She perhaps wanted me to inherit the dark old house and to marry Estella． But even though I was in love， I didn't hide from myself the fact that I would be unhappy with Estella． I loved her because I couldn't stop myself loving her．
I was surprised to see Orlick opening the gate to me．
‘So you aren't working for Joe any longer？’I asked．
‘As you see， young master，’he said rudely．
I knew he could not be trusted， and I decided to tell Mr Jaggers that Orlick was not responsible enough to work for Miss Havisham． Mr Jaggers would probably send him away．
When I entered Miss Havisham's room， there was a well－dressed lady sitting with her． When she lifted her head and looked at me， I realized it was Estella． She had become so beautiful that I felt very distant from her． In spite of all my education， I still seemed to be the coarse， common boy she used to laugh at．
‘She's changed very much，hasn't she， Pip？’ asked Miss Havisham， laughing wickedly．I replied confusedly． I could see that Estella was still proud， and I knew that it was she who made me feel ashamed of home， and Joe，but I also knew that I could never stop loving her．
She and I walked in the ancient garden， talking quietly about our childhood meetings．Now that we were adults， she seemed to accept me as a friend．I could not have been happier． I felt sure Miss Havisham had chosen us for each other． What a fool I was！
Suddenly she stopped and turned to me．‘Miss Havisham may want us to spend more time together in future． But in that case I must warn you that I have no heart．I can never fall in love．’
‘I can't believe that，’ I replied． As she looked straight at me， I recognized something in her face． Had I seen that ex－pression recently，on another woman？
When we went back to the house，Miss Havisham spoke to me alone．‘Do you admire her， Pip？’ she asked eagerly．
‘Everbody who sees her must admire her．’
She pulled my head down to hers with her bony arm and whispered，‘Love her，love her，love her！If she likes you，love her！ If she hurts you， love her！ If she tears your heart to pieces，love her！’I could feel the muscles on her thin arm round my neck． She seemed so angry that she could have been talking about hate， or revenge， or death， rather than love．
■ 9 乔的来访
“我亲爱的匹普：
葛吉瑞先生让我告诉你，他马上到伦敦，如果你方便的话，将在星期二早晨9点钟在赫伯特·朴凯特的房间里拜访你，我和他每天晚上都谈论你，想知道你说的和干的事情。
最美好的祝愿。
毕蒂。
又及：即使你现在是一位绅士了，我希望你不会拒绝见他，他真是一个好人。”
我星期一