04-01-03-三怪客泛舟记 [2]
好不容易强迫自己吃了点什么，我们又斟满了酒，点上烟斗，继续讨论我们的健康问题。到底得了什么病，我们也不清楚，但有一点大家都同意的是——我们都劳累过度。
“我们需要休息，”哈里斯说。
“休息，还要换个环境，”乔治补充道。
我完全同意乔治的建议，我们或许可以去乡下，找一个美丽、幽静的地方，远离尘嚣，享受夏天明媚的阳光。
哈里斯说这主意可不怎么样。他说以前去过这样的地方，可受不了，大家八点钟就得去睡觉，要买香烟和报纸得走一个小时。
“我不同意，”哈里斯说。“要休息、改变环境的话，海上旅行是最好不过了。”
我说海上旅行的主意简直太可怕了，要是去一两个月还可以，如果只有一个星期可没意思。我知道那会是怎么样……
星期一出发的时候，你满心想着到海上享受一番，高高兴兴地和岸上的朋友挥手告别，在船上来来去去地走，就象自己成了库克船长，弗兰西斯·杜雷克爵士或哥伦布。星期二，你就有点后悔了，希望没来这一趟。星期三、四、五，你觉得生不如死。星期六稍稍能喝点东西；好心的旅客问起你的情况，你也能冲他们笑一下了。星期天，你开始走动走动，吃点东西。又到星期一的早晨，你站在船舷上准备上岸了，这才感到海上旅行有意思。
我记得有次一个朋友休养身体去短期旅行。他买了从伦敦到利物浦的双程船票，可一到利物浦，他立刻卖掉船票，后来自己坐火车回来了。
所以，我坚决反对去海上旅行——当然这并不是为我自己，我是从来不晕船的。我是担心乔治。可乔治却说他没事，他倒是很喜欢这个主意，但是他怕哈里斯和我会病倒。可哈里斯说他从来不晕船，坦白说，他倒总想生病，可就是总不成功。真是怪事，在陆地上，你甭想碰到哪个人说自己晕船。
乔治说：“好吧，咱们还是到河上玩玩吧。”他又说：“河上也有新鲜空气，忙忙碌碌的，一会儿就饿了，这样既增进了食欲又能睡得香甜。”
哈里斯答道：“哼！你就没有睡不着的时候。直说了吧，你总昏昏欲睡的。”
不过，哈里斯还是同意这个主意不错，我也认为是个好点子。唯一不喜欢这个想法的是“元帅”。
“你们想得倒挺美，”它摆出一副面孔，“你们喜欢，我可不喜欢！河上我没什么事好干。我又不抽烟，又不喜欢看什么树啊，花啊的。况且，我睡觉的时候你们还一个劲地在船上玩，我会摔到河里去的！”
“元帅”脑子里最妙的事不过是把所有的癞皮狗聚齐，在城里瞎转，找另外一群癞皮狗开战。
最后，三比一，我们还是决定出发了。
■ Chapter 2 We start to make plans
We pulled out the maps and we discussed plans．
We decided to start on the following Saturday．Har-ris and I would go down to Kingston in the morning and take the boat up to Chertsey，but George could not leave the City until the afternoon．（George goes to sleep at a bank from ten o'clock until four o'clock from Monday to Friday．On Satur-day they wake him up and put him out onto the street at two o'clock．）So George was going to meet us at Chertsey．
The next question was where to sleep at night．
George and I did not want to sleep in hotels at night．We wanted to sleep outside．'How beautiful，'we said，'in the country，by the river，with the birds，the flowers and the trees all around us！'
I can imagine it easily…
At the end of the day，night comes and the world is peaceful and calm．Our little boat moves silently into some quiet little corner on the river．There we put up our tent，and we cook and eat our simple supper．Then we fill our pipes and we sit and talk quietly．Sometimes we stop for a moment or two and we listen to the water as it plays gently against the boat．The silver moon shines down on us and our heads are full of beautiful thoughts．We sit in silence for a time．We do not want to speak．Then we laugh quietly，put away our pipes，say'Goodnight'and go to bed．The peaceful sound of the water against the boat sends us to sleep-and we dream．We dream that the world is young again…
'And what about when it rains？'Harris said．
He was right．When it rains，you do not enjoy living in tents．
I thought about it again…
It is evening．You are very wet．There is a lot of water in the boat and everything in it is wet，too．You find a place on the river bank which is not as wet as other places．You get out of the boat，pull out the tent，and two of you try to put it up．Because it is wet，it is very heavy．And then it falls on top of you．You cannot get it off your head，and you get angry．All the time it is raining heavily．It is difficult to put up a tent in good weather．In wet weather it is almost impossible．The other man does not help you．He starts to play about．You get your side of the tent up and begin to tie the ropes to the ground．Just then he pulls the tent from his side，and he destroys all your hard work．
'Here！What do you think you're doing？'you call out．
'What are you doing，you mean，'he answers angrily．
'Don't pull it！You've got it all wrong，you stupid man！'you cry．
'No，I haven't！'he shouts．'Let your side go！'
'I tell you，you're wrong！'you scream，and you wish you could get to him to hit him．You pull your side of the tent hard-and pull out all the ropes on his side．
'Ah！The stupid fool！'you hear him say to himself．And then，suddenly，he gives a violent pull-and your side comes out，too．Slowly，you start to go round to his side to tell him what you think of him．At the same time，he begins to come round the other way，to tell you what he feels．And you follow each other round and round，and you shout at each other-until the tent falls down．And there you are！You stand and look at each other across the tent