04-01-03-三怪客泛舟记 [1]
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When we had made ourselves eat something，we filled our glasses，and we lit our pipes．Then we began to talk about our health again．We were not quite sure what was the matter with us．However，we were all quite certain of one thing-we had been doing too much work．
'We need a rest，'Harris said．
'A rest and a change，'George added．
I agreed with George，and I said that perhaps we could go to the country．We could find a nice，quiet place and we could sit in the warm summer sun．We could go somewhere peaceful，far away from other people．
Harris said that he thought that would be awful．He added that he had been to a place like that once．Everyone went to bed at eight o'clock，and he had to walk for an hour to buy cigarettes and a newspaper．
'No，'Harris said．'If you want a rest and a change，then the sea is best．'
I said that this was a terrible idea．A sea trip is fine if you are going for a month or two-but not for a week．I know what it is like…
You start out on Monday and you think that you are going to enjoy yourself．You wave goodbye happily to your friends．You walk up and down on the ship，like Captain Cook，Sir Francis Drake or Christopher Columbus．On Tuesday you wish that you had not come．On Wednesday，Thursday and Friday you wish that you were dead．On Saturday you are able to drink something．You begin to smile a little at the kind people who ask you how you are．On Sunday you start to walk again，and you eat a little．And on Monday morning，as you stand and wait to get off the ship-you begin to enjoy yourself．
I remember that a friend of mine once took a short sea trip from London to Liverpool for his health．He bought a return ticket，but，when he got to Liverpool，he sold it and he came back by train…
So I was against the sea trip-not for myself，you understand．I am never seasick．But I was afraid for George．George said he would be fine．In fact，he said he would quite like it，but he thought that Harris and I would both be ill．Harris said he was never seasick．In fact，he had often tried to be ill，but he had not succeeded．It is very strange，but，when you are on land，you never meet anybody who has ever been seasick！
So George said，'Well，let's go up the river，then．'He added，'We'll have fresh air on the river．The hard work on the boat will make us hungry，so we'll enjoy our food．We'll sleep well，too．'
Harris replied，'Well，you never have any trouble sleeping，anyway．In fact，you're always going to sleep！'
But，in the end，Harris agreed that it was a good idea．I thought that it was a good idea，too．The only one who did not like the idea was Montmorency．
'It's different for me，'his face said．'You like it，but I don't！There's nothing for me to do．I don't smoke．I don't like looking at the trees and the flowers，and when I'm asleep you'll play about with the boat and I'll fall over the side！'
Montmorency's idea of a good time is to collect together all the most awful dogs he can find and then go round the town，looking for other awful dogs to fight．
But we were three to one，so we decided to go anyway．
■ 1 决定去渡假
我们一伙是四个——乔治，威廉·塞缪尔·哈里斯，我，还有“元帅”。那天，大伙儿坐在我的房间里，抽烟、聊天，谈到我们的近况有多糟糕——当然我指的是病得多糟糕。
大家都感到浑身不舒服，心里直发慌。哈里斯说他常常觉得十分难受，不知道自己在干些什么。乔治说，他也经常发昏，不知道自己在干什么。至于我，是心脏病，因为我在一本杂志上看到过心脏有病的症状，我全都有。
说来真怪，每次看到有关各种疾病的情况，我就意识到自己也有——而且还病得很重。坦率地说，我的身体一直令人担心。我还记得……
有一次我有点小毛病，就去了大英博物馆查查医书。我从架子上拿下书，翻起来。不一会儿，翻到第二页，又看到另一种病。我记不清叫什么名字，但我知道是种极其凶险的不治之症。半页还没看完，我断定自己也得了这种病。
我坐在那儿，害怕得一阵阵发冷。接着又慢慢翻了几页，看到比前一个更可怕的病。读了症状，不出所料，我也有这个病。于是我开始对自己可能有的病感兴趣了，便翻到开头，从字母“a”一直查到“z”，发现只有一种病我没有，心中还多少有点伤心，我怎么没把那个病也得了呢？
进阅览室的时候我还是快乐而健康的年轻人，可爬出来的时候已经是病魔缠身，离死神不远了。
回头再说说我的心脏——没人知道我病得有多重。小时候，心脏就不好，这么多年来，这病一直没有离身。是心脏有病，肯定没错，因为所有病症我都有，主要一条是不愿意干活。当然，他们都不知道这是心脏有病的原因。那时候医生也不大高明。在他们看来，我得了懒病。
“哼！你这个懒家伙，”他们常这么说。“快起来！你就不能干点正经活？！”他们哪里明白我有病啊！
还有，他们不给我吃药，还敲我脑袋。说也奇怪，敲几下的确管用，病就好一会儿，有时敲一下，病就没了，我急着逃开去干我的活。
书归正传，那天晚上我们在屋里坐了半个小时，彼此诉说患病的痛楚。我对乔治和哈里斯讲早晨起床时有多么难受；哈里斯告诉我们他睡觉时有多么难受；而乔治站在火炉边，滔滔不绝地说着他晚上有多么难受。
乔治总以为自己有病，可你知道，其实根本没有那回事。
这时候，管家波贝丝太太敲了敲门，问我们是不是准备吃晚饭。
我们彼此苦笑了一下，说没办法，勉强吃点什么吧。哈里斯说吃点东西可以抵抗疾病。波贝丝太太把饭端进来，我们坐在桌边，足足有半个小时，把牛排，薯条摆弄来，摆弄去，盯着波贝丝太太做的蛋糕看了又看。
When we had made ourselves eat something，we filled our glasses，and we lit our pipes．Then we began to talk about our health again．We were not quite sure what was the matter with us．However，we were all quite certain of one thing-we had been doing too much work．
'We need a rest，'Harris said．
'A rest and a change，'George added．
I agreed with George，and I said that perhaps we could go to the country．We could find a nice，quiet place and we could sit in the warm summer sun．We could go somewhere peaceful，far away from other people．
Harris said that he thought that would be awful．He added that he had been to a place like that once．Everyone went to bed at eight o'clock，and he had to walk for an hour to buy cigarettes and a newspaper．
'No，'Harris said．'If you want a rest and a change，then the sea is best．'
I said that this was a terrible idea．A sea trip is fine if you are going for a month or two-but not for a week．I know what it is like…
You start out on Monday and you think that you are going to enjoy yourself．You wave goodbye happily to your friends．You walk up and down on the ship，like Captain Cook，Sir Francis Drake or Christopher Columbus．On Tuesday you wish that you had not come．On Wednesday，Thursday and Friday you wish that you were dead．On Saturday you are able to drink something．You begin to smile a little at the kind people who ask you how you are．On Sunday you start to walk again，and you eat a little．And on Monday morning，as you stand and wait to get off the ship-you begin to enjoy yourself．
I remember that a friend of mine once took a short sea trip from London to Liverpool for his health．He bought a return ticket，but，when he got to Liverpool，he sold it and he came back by train…
So I was against the sea trip-not for myself，you understand．I am never seasick．But I was afraid for George．George said he would be fine．In fact，he said he would quite like it，but he thought that Harris and I would both be ill．Harris said he was never seasick．In fact，he had often tried to be ill，but he had not succeeded．It is very strange，but，when you are on land，you never meet anybody who has ever been seasick！
So George said，'Well，let's go up the river，then．'He added，'We'll have fresh air on the river．The hard work on the boat will make us hungry，so we'll enjoy our food．We'll sleep well，too．'
Harris replied，'Well，you never have any trouble sleeping，anyway．In fact，you're always going to sleep！'
But，in the end，Harris agreed that it was a good idea．I thought that it was a good idea，too．The only one who did not like the idea was Montmorency．
'It's different for me，'his face said．'You like it，but I don't！There's nothing for me to do．I don't smoke．I don't like looking at the trees and the flowers，and when I'm asleep you'll play about with the boat and I'll fall over the side！'
Montmorency's idea of a good time is to collect together all the most awful dogs he can find and then go round the town，looking for other awful dogs to fight．
But we were three to one，so we decided to go anyway．
■ 1 决定去渡假
我们一伙是四个——乔治，威廉·塞缪尔·哈里斯，我，还有“元帅”。那天，大伙儿坐在我的房间里，抽烟、聊天，谈到我们的近况有多糟糕——当然我指的是病得多糟糕。
大家都感到浑身不舒服，心里直发慌。哈里斯说他常常觉得十分难受，不知道自己在干些什么。乔治说，他也经常发昏，不知道自己在干什么。至于我，是心脏病，因为我在一本杂志上看到过心脏有病的症状，我全都有。
说来真怪，每次看到有关各种疾病的情况，我就意识到自己也有——而且还病得很重。坦率地说，我的身体一直令人担心。我还记得……
有一次我有点小毛病，就去了大英博物馆查查医书。我从架子上拿下书，翻起来。不一会儿，翻到第二页，又看到另一种病。我记不清叫什么名字，但我知道是种极其凶险的不治之症。半页还没看完，我断定自己也得了这种病。
我坐在那儿，害怕得一阵阵发冷。接着又慢慢翻了几页，看到比前一个更可怕的病。读了症状，不出所料，我也有这个病。于是我开始对自己可能有的病感兴趣了，便翻到开头，从字母“a”一直查到“z”，发现只有一种病我没有，心中还多少有点伤心，我怎么没把那个病也得了呢？
进阅览室的时候我还是快乐而健康的年轻人，可爬出来的时候已经是病魔缠身，离死神不远了。
回头再说说我的心脏——没人知道我病得有多重。小时候，心脏就不好，这么多年来，这病一直没有离身。是心脏有病，肯定没错，因为所有病症我都有，主要一条是不愿意干活。当然，他们都不知道这是心脏有病的原因。那时候医生也不大高明。在他们看来，我得了懒病。
“哼！你这个懒家伙，”他们常这么说。“快起来！你就不能干点正经活？！”他们哪里明白我有病啊！
还有，他们不给我吃药，还敲我脑袋。说也奇怪，敲几下的确管用，病就好一会儿，有时敲一下，病就没了，我急着逃开去干我的活。
书归正传，那天晚上我们在屋里坐了半个小时，彼此诉说患病的痛楚。我对乔治和哈里斯讲早晨起床时有多么难受；哈里斯告诉我们他睡觉时有多么难受；而乔治站在火炉边，滔滔不绝地说着他晚上有多么难受。
乔治总以为自己有病，可你知道，其实根本没有那回事。
这时候，管家波贝丝太太敲了敲门，问我们是不是准备吃晚饭。
我们彼此苦笑了一下，说没办法，勉强吃点什么吧。哈里斯说吃点东西可以抵抗疾病。波贝丝太太把饭端进来，我们坐在桌边，足足有半个小时，把牛排，薯条摆弄来，摆弄去，盯着波贝丝太太做的蛋糕看了又看。