The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [35]
"You're rotten. Bloody British blood. Damn stupidity. Hear me? Cry. Cry. You've done the one thing for which I would kill any man. You're a scheming slut. Did you hear what I said? I said you were a scheming slut"
"Don't say that to me, please."
That letter cost you a great deal of money. Do you hear me ? Money. If you ever write to my father again I'll strangle you."
"O for God's sake stop it"
"I'm driven mad. Jesus to come home to this. This on top of every damn thing. I want to tear this house down. Everything in it I'll smash every God damn thing in it You won't have a house then. You'll be in the gutter. You belong in the gutter. Your God damn vulgar father and your smutty mother and that sniveling sneak of a titled uncle. Do you hear what they are? Human garbage and rubbish, not fit to be alive."
"Please, I beg of you to stop it"
"Get out"
"Please, Sebastian."
"Get out God damn it Do as I say. Get out or I'll strangle you here and now."
"What's made you like this?"
"You've made me like this. That's what made me the way I am now. You."
"I haven't You can't blame me. I'm sorry I wrote your father. I'm sorry for it"
"Get out"
"Can't you see I'm sorry. Can't you see anything?"
"I can't see a goddamn thing. I'm mad and I'm blind. I'm mad."
"Please stop it I beg of you, Sebastian to stop it."
Marion walked half across the room towards the man wagging his body in the chair, showing his teeth, shaking his fists around his head.
"Stay away. Get away from me. Jesus, what ever made me come to this God damn country? I'm finished. I'm finished. Finished. Not a hope. A God damn snake can't live here. Nothing can live here. Every Christ botched thing on top of me. Every side. Every minute. What are you trying to do to me? Finish me forever? Do I actually have to suffer this now? Do I? Will you shut up about work, study, work. I'm not going to work. Never. That letter cost you thousands. Damn you."
"Can't you see, even for a second, that I'm sorry for it? I didn't mean to do it Can't you see I've been driven to it?"
"Twenty thousand pounds. Jesus."
"You've left me here day after day in this sordidness. No gas, no hot water and the toilet and the roofs leaking. I'm the one to be angry and get upset But have I?"
"Mother of Christ, all right. I don't want to hear it Just stop that right now. I don't want to hear it You've disinherited me."
"It won't be for years and years."
"Shut up, I know when it will be."
"It will. You'll wait for years."
"So what You're alive. You're not dead. You're not sick. Can't you wait a year?"
"I'm not well either. We may be dead by then. And Felicity. She's yours too. Think of her."
"I just don't want any more of this. Take it all away. Take it away. I'm so damn fed up that I swear to Christ I'll just demolish this whole house. Poke the windows out. I'll beat it to the ground. Out of my way. Where's my damn head. Where is it?"
"It's on the floor there."
"I want no mere. Just nothing. Nothing. O Jesus. Honestly, I need distraction, I can't do with this any longer. Just forget it and leave me in peace for tonight because if I don't get peace—that's all."
"The pot's under the table."
"Thanks."
"There are two onions and a carrot if you want to put them in"
"Thanks."
"I put five pence in the gas."
"O.K"
"I'll help if you like."
"It's O.K Is there any of my garlic left?"
"I saw a clove in the table drawer."
Marion standing holding her hands. Intense, despaired. She moves around and goes to the chair, puts her hands on the arms and looks out the window with the sky darkening with clouds and rain drops hitting the panes. Sound of him juggling pots in the kitchen. Knife striking the table top and the head drowning in the water. I see so many old vegetables, wrinkled and dry at the bottom of so many drawers. A little peace. Just a little. I would like very much to have a few days in the country, watching the cows sucking up the grass.
"I'm going out a minute, Marion. Anything you want? Don't cry. For heaven's sake, don't cry. What are you crying for? Please. I'll be back in a minute, now don't cry. You don't want anything?"