The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [123]
"Look here, Mary. I'm a little weak. I'm not up to it That kind of talk will make me have a relapse. You look lovely tonight"
"O it's soft talk."
"It's the truth."
"And are all the other things you called me the truth too? Am I to forget those?"
"For the moment This is the eve."
"I guess you're holy now."
"Not holy, but I've taken the eve into consideration."
"Why didn't you arrange to see me or something?"
"Needed a little time to think things over. I feel much better now. Don't I look better?"
"You may have fine clothes but you've got bags under your eyes. And there was a fuss here over what you said to that American girl in the taxi. I'm inclined to think you were rude. Exactly as you were with me."
"Cut it out I'm not going to stand for this kind of talk. For the infant Jesus will you stop it"
"No."
"Well god damn it, another word out of you and I'll bat you in the bloody face and fix this damn film contract as well."
"You're the one who ought to shut up and get a wallop in the face. I don't want to have anything to do with the films but I thought if I could get some money I could help us. I'd do anything to help and you talk to me like this. Well bugger you, you damn bastard. I can tell you off too."
Sebastian's arm whistled through the air. The flat of his palm cracked against the side of her face and Mary sat stunned. He slapped her again.
"I'm going to kick the living shit out of you. Do you hear me?"
Her arms raised to ward off the blows. Mary and chair fell backwards. Dangerfield tripping over a table on top of her.
"You won't do anything to me. You can hit and hit me and I don't care. I don't care what you do but you're a bastard and will always be a bastard, always and always."
There was a silence catching breaths and a discreet knock on the door. The door opening tentatively.
"Pardon me sir, but shall I leave the champagne here?"
"Do, please."
The door closing quietly. Sound of pumping chests. Sebastian gripping her tightly by the wrists to hold the flailing nails down. Ribbons of sting. Mary glaring into his eyes. Her white wrists and fingers. She is a slimmer soft thing, where she was so fat, so strong. O slim and soft for sure.
"Get up"
"No."
"I said get up"
"No."
"Get up or I swear to Christ I'll drive your face through the floor. When I tell you to get up, get up."
"Your dirty bastard. I still say bugger you and I'll do what I want"
Mary slung back on her straight arms. White legs and knees. Pathos of her pins. I can't go on when all I really want is your white bare legs scissored around my throat, crushing out fond gasps. And I'm standing on a deep rug with books for a setting. And assault with the weapon of the flat hand.
"Up or I'll use the boot."
"I love you and look how you've treated me."
"Up or the boot."
"Why are you like this ? "
"Now sit down. You're going to get off this damn stage and out of these films."
"Why shouldn't I try. I wanted to make some money because you said you wouldn't want me otherwise. You told me you'd push me out the window, tied my towel in knots and soaked my underwear in the basin and now I've got a chance to make something of myself and you don't lie it either"
"I don't like the stage in any form. It's rot I don't like it You're coming back with me tonight"
"That's for me to say"
"Now, Mary, come back quietly with me. And tomorrow we'll go out together. Save this bottle of champagne for the morning. After the rasher and roll. Leave the stage and forget the films and we'll live in some quiet place."
"It isn't that I like it either with everyone trying to go to bed with me, men and women alike. But how can I be sure you're not going to turn on me again. I won't come back with you tonight But I'll tell you where I live and you can come and see me in the morning. Have you ever thought of me living alone and queer men calling me up on the phone and following me through the streets? Did that occur to you?"
"There's been a special place for you in my thoughts, Mary. Very special place. Took me awhile to get over the shock. And I feel a little better now. Ready to go out in the world again. But there's been the special place for you. Am I forgiven?"