All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren [198]
I sat there and reckoned I had asked for that one.
She said, “Then you told me–you told me about my father. There wasn’t any reason why not then. After you told me.”
I reckoned I had asked for that one, too.
She said, “He wants to marry me.”
“Are you going to?”
“Not now. It would hurt him. A divorce would hurt him. Not now.”
“Are you going to?”
“Perhaps. Later. After he goes to the Senate. Next year.”
One part of my mind was busy ticketing that away: The Senate next year. That means he won’t let old Scoggan go back. Funny he hadn’t told me. But the other part of my mind which was not the nice, cool, steel filing cabinet with alphabetical cards was boiling like a kettle of pitch. A big bubble heaved up and exploded out of the pitch, and it was my voice saying, “Well, I suppose you know what you are up to.”
“You don’t know him,” she said, her voice even lower than before. “You’ve known him all these years and you don’t know him at all.” Then she had lifted her head and was looking straight into my eyes. “I’m not sorry,” she said, quite distinctly. “Not for anything that’s happened.”
I walked down the street in the hot darkness toward my hotel under a magnificent throbbing sky, breathing the old gasoline fumes the day had left and the sweet, marshy smell of the river at low water which the night brought up into the streets, and thinking, yes, I knew why she had done it.
The answer was in all the years before, and the things in them and not in them.
The answer was in me, for I had told her.
I only told her the truth, I said savagely to myself, and she can’t blame me for the truth!
But was there some fatal appropriateness inherent in the very nature of the world and of me that I should be the one to tell her the truth? I had to ask myself that question, too. And I couldn’t be sure of the answer. So I walked on down the street, turning that question over and over in my mind without any answer until the question lost meaning and dropped from my mind as something heavy drops from numb fingers. I would have faced the responsibility and the guilt, I was ready to do that, if I could know. But who is going to tell you?
So I walked on, and after a while I remembered how she had said I had never known him. And the him was Willie Stark, whom I had known for the many years since Cousin Willie from the country, the Boy with the Christmas Tie, had walked into the back room of Slade’s old place. Sure, I knew him. Like a book. I had known him a long time.
Too long, I thought then, too long to know him. For maybe the time had blinded me, or rather I had not been aware of the passing of time and always the round face of Cousin Willie had come between me and the other face so that I had never really seen the other face. Except perhaps in those moments when it had leaned forward to the crowds and the forelock had fallen and the eyes had bulged, and the crowd had roared and I had felt the surge in me and had felt that I was on the verge of the truth. But always the face of Cousin Willie above the Christmas tie had come again.
But it did not come now. I saw the face. Enormous. Bigger than a billboard. The forelock shagged down like a mane. The big jaw. The heavy lips laid together like masonry. The eyes burning and bulging powerfully.
Funny, I had never seen it before. Not really.
That night I telephoned the Boss, told him what had happened and how Anne had told me, and made my suggestion about getting Adam to swear out a warrant for Coffee. He said to do it. To do anything that would nail Adam. So I went to the hotel, where I lat on my bed under the electric fan until the desk called me to get up at about six o’clock. Then by seven I was on Adam’s doorstep, with a single cup of java sloshing about in my insides and a fresh razor cut on my chin and sleep like sand under my eyelids.
I worked it. It was a hard little job I had cut out for me. First, I had to enlist Adam on the side of righteousness by getting him to agree to swear out a warrant for Coffee. My method was to assume, of course, that he was aching for the opportunity to nail Coffee, and to indicate that the Boss was cheering on the glorious exploit. Then I had to lead him to the discovery, which had to be all his own, that this would involve Anne as a witness. Then I had played the half-wit and imply that this had never occurred to me before. The danger was, with a fellow like Adam, that he would get so set on seeing justice done that he would let Anne testify, hell and high water. He almost did that, but I painted a gory picture of the courtroom scene (but not as gory by half as it would have been in truth), refused to be party to the business, hinted that he was an unnatural brother, and wound up with a vague notion of another way to get Coffee for a similar attempt in another quarter