06-04-苔丝 [33]
and caught sight of her． She blushed and moved away．
‘Why are you going， Tess？’he asked．‘Are you afraid？’
‘Oh no， sir， not of outdoor things．’
‘But indoors？’
‘Well， yes， sir．’
‘Life in general？’
‘Yes，sir．’
‘Ah， so am I，very often． Being alive is rather serious，don't you think so？’
‘It is， now you put it like that．’
‘All the same， I wouldn't expect a young girl like you to feel that． Why？ Come， tell me．’
After a moment's hesitation she answered，‘The trees ask questions with their eyes， don't they？ And you seem to see hundreds of tomorrows all in a line，the first big and clear， the others getting smaller． But they all look fierce and cruel． But you can drive away all these ideas with your music， sir！’
He was surprised to find that this dairymaid had such sad thoughts． She was expressing in her own words the ache of modern life． This sadness made her more interesting to him．He did not know that her experience had given her great strength of feeling． Tess， on the other hand， could not understand why a man of religious family， good education and financial independence should feel sorry to be alive． How could this admirable and poetic man have felt， as she did two or three years ago， that he would rather die？ It was true that he was not at present living among gentlemen． But he was studying what he wanted to know， and would become a rich farmer in time． So，as they neither understood each other's secrets， they were both puzzled and waited to find out more．
At first Tess regarded Angel as an intelligence rather than a man． She became quite depressed as she realized the distance between her own knowledge and his． One day he asked her why she looked so sad．
‘Oh， it's only that I feel I've been wasting my life！ When I see what you know， I feel what a nothing I am！’
‘Well， my dear Tess，’ said Angel with some enthusiasm，‘I shall be only too glad to help you study history， for example…’
‘I don't know． What's the use of learning that I'm one of a long row， and that my past and future are like thousands of other people's？ But there's one thing I'd like to know—why the sun shines on the good and the bad just the same，’ she said， her voice trembling．
‘Oh，Tess，don't be bitter！’Of course he had wondered this himself in the past． But as he looked at her innocent lips， he thought this pure child of nature could only have picked up the question from others． She could not possibly have any guilt in her past．
When he had gone， Tess felt again how stupid she must appear to him．She wondered whether she could gain his respect by telling him of her d’Urberville blood． She first asked the dairyman if Mr Clare was interested in old families who had lost their money and land．
‘No，’said Mr Crick firmly． ‘He's a rebel， and the one thing he hates is an old family．’After hearing this not very accurate view of Clare's opinions， poor Tess was glad she had not mentioned her ancestors．
That summer， Tess and Clare unconsciously studied each other， balanced on the edge of a passion， yet just keeping out of it． But all the time， like two streams in a valley， they were destined to join．Tess had never been so happy as she was now， and perhaps never would be so again． They met continually．They could not help it．They met daily in the half-light， at three o’clock in the morning， just before milking． They felt they were the first two up in the whole world， like Adam and Eve． Tess seemed like a queen to Clare， perhaps because he knew that she was the most beautiful woman walking about at this time of day． Lovely women are usually asleep at midsummer sunrise． But Tess was near， and the rest were nowhere． In the strange light she was no longer a milkmaid
‘Why are you going， Tess？’he asked．‘Are you afraid？’
‘Oh no， sir， not of outdoor things．’
‘But indoors？’
‘Well， yes， sir．’
‘Life in general？’
‘Yes，sir．’
‘Ah， so am I，very often． Being alive is rather serious，don't you think so？’
‘It is， now you put it like that．’
‘All the same， I wouldn't expect a young girl like you to feel that． Why？ Come， tell me．’
After a moment's hesitation she answered，‘The trees ask questions with their eyes， don't they？ And you seem to see hundreds of tomorrows all in a line，the first big and clear， the others getting smaller． But they all look fierce and cruel． But you can drive away all these ideas with your music， sir！’
He was surprised to find that this dairymaid had such sad thoughts． She was expressing in her own words the ache of modern life． This sadness made her more interesting to him．He did not know that her experience had given her great strength of feeling． Tess， on the other hand， could not understand why a man of religious family， good education and financial independence should feel sorry to be alive． How could this admirable and poetic man have felt， as she did two or three years ago， that he would rather die？ It was true that he was not at present living among gentlemen． But he was studying what he wanted to know， and would become a rich farmer in time． So，as they neither understood each other's secrets， they were both puzzled and waited to find out more．
At first Tess regarded Angel as an intelligence rather than a man． She became quite depressed as she realized the distance between her own knowledge and his． One day he asked her why she looked so sad．
‘Oh， it's only that I feel I've been wasting my life！ When I see what you know， I feel what a nothing I am！’
‘Well， my dear Tess，’ said Angel with some enthusiasm，‘I shall be only too glad to help you study history， for example…’
‘I don't know． What's the use of learning that I'm one of a long row， and that my past and future are like thousands of other people's？ But there's one thing I'd like to know—why the sun shines on the good and the bad just the same，’ she said， her voice trembling．
‘Oh，Tess，don't be bitter！’Of course he had wondered this himself in the past． But as he looked at her innocent lips， he thought this pure child of nature could only have picked up the question from others． She could not possibly have any guilt in her past．
When he had gone， Tess felt again how stupid she must appear to him．She wondered whether she could gain his respect by telling him of her d’Urberville blood． She first asked the dairyman if Mr Clare was interested in old families who had lost their money and land．
‘No，’said Mr Crick firmly． ‘He's a rebel， and the one thing he hates is an old family．’After hearing this not very accurate view of Clare's opinions， poor Tess was glad she had not mentioned her ancestors．
That summer， Tess and Clare unconsciously studied each other， balanced on the edge of a passion， yet just keeping out of it． But all the time， like two streams in a valley， they were destined to join．Tess had never been so happy as she was now， and perhaps never would be so again． They met continually．They could not help it．They met daily in the half-light， at three o’clock in the morning， just before milking． They felt they were the first two up in the whole world， like Adam and Eve． Tess seemed like a queen to Clare， perhaps because he knew that she was the most beautiful woman walking about at this time of day． Lovely women are usually asleep at midsummer sunrise． But Tess was near， and the rest were nowhere． In the strange light she was no longer a milkmaid