06-04-苔丝 [22]
，and there was silence．
‘Say Amen，children．’
‘Amen，’they replied．
Tess put her hand into the water，and drew a huge cross upon the baby with her finger． She continued the service in the well－known words， asking for the baby to be protected against the world and against wickedness． Her belief gave her hope；her sweet warm voice rang out the thanks that follow the baptism．The single candle was reflected in her shining eyes like a diamond．The children asked no more questions，but looked up at her in amazement．She seemed almost like a god to them．
Poor Sorrow's fight against the world and wickedness was a short one， fortunately perhaps，taking into account his situation． In the blue light of the morning he breathed his last． Tess had been calm since the baptism and she remained calm． She was no longer worried about Sorrow's afterlife．If God did not accept the baptism，she did not value His Heaven，either for herself or for her child．
Tess thought a good deal about the baptism， however， and wondered if it might mean that Sorrow could be buried in the churchyard，with a church service． She went to the parson's house after dark， and met him near his gate．
‘I should like to ask you something，sir．My baby was very ill，and I wanted you to baptize him， but my father refused to allow it．So I baptized him myself．Now sir， can you tell me this，’and she looked him straight in the eyes，‘ will it be just the same for him as if you had baptized him？’
The parson wanted to say no． She had done what should have been his job．But the girl's strong feeling impressed him． The man and the parson fought inside him， and the man won．
‘My dear girl，’he said，‘it will be just the same．’
‘Then will you bury him in the churchyard？’ she asked quickly．
The parson felt trapped． It was a difficult question to answer．‘Ah，that's a different matter，’he said．‘1'm sorry，I cannot．’
‘Oh sir！’She took his hand as she spoke．
He took it away，shaking his head．
‘Then I'll never come to church again！’she cried．‘But perhaps it will be the same for him？ Tell me， have pity on me， poor me，tell me what you really think！’
The parson was deeply touched by her emotion． For a surprising moment he forgot the strict rules of his church．
‘It will be just the same，’he answered kindly．
So the baby was carried in a cheap wooden box to the churchyard at nignt．There is a corner of the churchyard where the grass grows long，and where the suicides，drunks， unbaptized babies and other supposed criminals are laid． Sorrow was buried here，at the cost of a shilling and a pint of beer for the gravedigger．Tess bravely made a little cross and put it at the head of the grave one evening，when she could enter the churchyard without being seen．
It is all very well saying that we learn from experience． Tess had certainly learnt from experience，but could not see how to use her knowledge，so painfully gained．
So she stayed in her parents’ home during the winter， helping to look after the children， making clothes for them and earning a little money whenever she could．Important dates came round again：the night of her shame in The Chase，the baby's birth and death， her own birthday． One day when she was looking at her pretty face in the mirror，she thought of another date，even more important—her own death． When it came it would swallow up all her prettiness and everything that had happened to her．When was it？It was a day lying hidden among all the other days of the year， so that she noticed nothing when it came round，and did not know what week， month，season or year it would be．
In a flash Tess changed from simple girl to complicated woman．Her face was often thoughtful，and there was sometimes a tragic note in her voice．Her eyes
‘Say Amen，children．’
‘Amen，’they replied．
Tess put her hand into the water，and drew a huge cross upon the baby with her finger． She continued the service in the well－known words， asking for the baby to be protected against the world and against wickedness． Her belief gave her hope；her sweet warm voice rang out the thanks that follow the baptism．The single candle was reflected in her shining eyes like a diamond．The children asked no more questions，but looked up at her in amazement．She seemed almost like a god to them．
Poor Sorrow's fight against the world and wickedness was a short one， fortunately perhaps，taking into account his situation． In the blue light of the morning he breathed his last． Tess had been calm since the baptism and she remained calm． She was no longer worried about Sorrow's afterlife．If God did not accept the baptism，she did not value His Heaven，either for herself or for her child．
Tess thought a good deal about the baptism， however， and wondered if it might mean that Sorrow could be buried in the churchyard，with a church service． She went to the parson's house after dark， and met him near his gate．
‘I should like to ask you something，sir．My baby was very ill，and I wanted you to baptize him， but my father refused to allow it．So I baptized him myself．Now sir， can you tell me this，’and she looked him straight in the eyes，‘ will it be just the same for him as if you had baptized him？’
The parson wanted to say no． She had done what should have been his job．But the girl's strong feeling impressed him． The man and the parson fought inside him， and the man won．
‘My dear girl，’he said，‘it will be just the same．’
‘Then will you bury him in the churchyard？’ she asked quickly．
The parson felt trapped． It was a difficult question to answer．‘Ah，that's a different matter，’he said．‘1'm sorry，I cannot．’
‘Oh sir！’She took his hand as she spoke．
He took it away，shaking his head．
‘Then I'll never come to church again！’she cried．‘But perhaps it will be the same for him？ Tell me， have pity on me， poor me，tell me what you really think！’
The parson was deeply touched by her emotion． For a surprising moment he forgot the strict rules of his church．
‘It will be just the same，’he answered kindly．
So the baby was carried in a cheap wooden box to the churchyard at nignt．There is a corner of the churchyard where the grass grows long，and where the suicides，drunks， unbaptized babies and other supposed criminals are laid． Sorrow was buried here，at the cost of a shilling and a pint of beer for the gravedigger．Tess bravely made a little cross and put it at the head of the grave one evening，when she could enter the churchyard without being seen．
It is all very well saying that we learn from experience． Tess had certainly learnt from experience，but could not see how to use her knowledge，so painfully gained．
So she stayed in her parents’ home during the winter， helping to look after the children， making clothes for them and earning a little money whenever she could．Important dates came round again：the night of her shame in The Chase，the baby's birth and death， her own birthday． One day when she was looking at her pretty face in the mirror，she thought of another date，even more important—her own death． When it came it would swallow up all her prettiness and everything that had happened to her．When was it？It was a day lying hidden among all the other days of the year， so that she noticed nothing when it came round，and did not know what week， month，season or year it would be．
In a flash Tess changed from simple girl to complicated woman．Her face was often thoughtful，and there was sometimes a tragic note in her voice．Her eyes