06-01-简·爱 [69]
stared at her，as if he wanted to say，' I love you，and I know you love me．If I offered you my heart，I think you'd accept．But my heart is already promised as a sacrifice to God．'But he never said anything，and she always turned sadly away like a disappointed child．No doubt he would have given the world to call her back，but he would not give his chance of heaven．
When I discovered that Miss Oliver's father greatly admired the Rivers family，and would have no objection to her marrying a vicar，I decided to try to persuade St John to marry her．I thought he could do more good with Miss Oliver's money in England than as a missionary under the baking sun in the East．
My chance came some weeks later，when he visited me one November evening in my little cottage．He noticed a sketch I had been doing of Miss Oliver，and could not take his eyes off it．
'I could paint you an exact copy，'I said gently，'if you admit that you would like it．'
'She's so beautiful！'he murmured，still looking at it．'I would certainly like to have it．'
'She likes you，I'm sure，'I said，greatly daring，'and her father respects you．You ought to marry her．'
'It's very pleasant to hear this，'he said，not at all shocked by my honesty．'I shall allow myself fifteen minutes to think about her．'And he actually put his watch on the table，and sat back in his chair，closing his eyes．'Married to the lovely Rosamund Oliver！Let me just imagine it！My heart is full of delight！'And there was silence for a quarter of an hour until he picked up his watch，and put the sketch back on the table．
'Temptation has a bitter taste，'he said，shaking his head．'I can't marry her．You see，although I love her so deeply，I know that Rosamund would not make a good wife for a missionary．
'But you needn't be a missionary！'I cried．
'Indeed I must！It's the great work God has chosen me to do！I shall carry with me into the darkest corners of the world knowledge，peace，freedom，religion，the hope of heaven！That is what I live for，and what I shall die for！'
'What about Miss Oliver？'I asked after a moment．'She may be very disappointed if you don't marry her．'
'Miss Oliver will forget me in a month，and will probably marry someone who'll make her far happier than I ever could！'
'You speak calmly，but I know you're suffering．'
'You are original，'he said，looking surprised．He had clearly not imagined that men and women could discuss such deep feelings together．'But believe me，I have overcome this weakness of mine，and become as hard as a rock．My only ambition now is to serve God．'As he picked up his hat before leaving，something on a piece of paper on the table caught his eye．He glanced at me，then tore off a tiny piece very quickly，and with a rapid'Goodbye！'rushed out of the cottage．I could not imagine what he had found to interest him so much．
■ 21 李维斯先生的代价
我给村里的二十个女孩儿上课，有些女孩儿乡下口音很重，我几乎无法和她们交流。只有三人会读书，没有人会写字。所以第一天下来，想到摆在我面前的艰苦工作，我感到非常沮丧。但是我提醒自己能找到任何一份工作对我来说都是幸运的，我一定能习惯教这些孩子，她们尽管很穷，但可能和来自英格兰大家族的孩子一样好，一样聪明。
自从离开特恩费得后，罗切斯特先生一直留在我的脑海里。现在，我在这第一个夜晚站在小屋门口，望着静静的田野，任由自己想象着在法国南部的小白屋里我们会过怎样一种生活。他会爱我。噢，是的，他会一时非常爱我。“他的确爱过我。”我想。“再不会有谁像他那样爱我。”但是我又告诫自己，我只能成为他在异国的情妇，时间不会长，直到他厌倦我了。在这里做教师，生活在英格兰健康的腹地，我会更
When I discovered that Miss Oliver's father greatly admired the Rivers family，and would have no objection to her marrying a vicar，I decided to try to persuade St John to marry her．I thought he could do more good with Miss Oliver's money in England than as a missionary under the baking sun in the East．
My chance came some weeks later，when he visited me one November evening in my little cottage．He noticed a sketch I had been doing of Miss Oliver，and could not take his eyes off it．
'I could paint you an exact copy，'I said gently，'if you admit that you would like it．'
'She's so beautiful！'he murmured，still looking at it．'I would certainly like to have it．'
'She likes you，I'm sure，'I said，greatly daring，'and her father respects you．You ought to marry her．'
'It's very pleasant to hear this，'he said，not at all shocked by my honesty．'I shall allow myself fifteen minutes to think about her．'And he actually put his watch on the table，and sat back in his chair，closing his eyes．'Married to the lovely Rosamund Oliver！Let me just imagine it！My heart is full of delight！'And there was silence for a quarter of an hour until he picked up his watch，and put the sketch back on the table．
'Temptation has a bitter taste，'he said，shaking his head．'I can't marry her．You see，although I love her so deeply，I know that Rosamund would not make a good wife for a missionary．
'But you needn't be a missionary！'I cried．
'Indeed I must！It's the great work God has chosen me to do！I shall carry with me into the darkest corners of the world knowledge，peace，freedom，religion，the hope of heaven！That is what I live for，and what I shall die for！'
'What about Miss Oliver？'I asked after a moment．'She may be very disappointed if you don't marry her．'
'Miss Oliver will forget me in a month，and will probably marry someone who'll make her far happier than I ever could！'
'You speak calmly，but I know you're suffering．'
'You are original，'he said，looking surprised．He had clearly not imagined that men and women could discuss such deep feelings together．'But believe me，I have overcome this weakness of mine，and become as hard as a rock．My only ambition now is to serve God．'As he picked up his hat before leaving，something on a piece of paper on the table caught his eye．He glanced at me，then tore off a tiny piece very quickly，and with a rapid'Goodbye！'rushed out of the cottage．I could not imagine what he had found to interest him so much．
■ 21 李维斯先生的代价
我给村里的二十个女孩儿上课，有些女孩儿乡下口音很重，我几乎无法和她们交流。只有三人会读书，没有人会写字。所以第一天下来，想到摆在我面前的艰苦工作，我感到非常沮丧。但是我提醒自己能找到任何一份工作对我来说都是幸运的，我一定能习惯教这些孩子，她们尽管很穷，但可能和来自英格兰大家族的孩子一样好，一样聪明。
自从离开特恩费得后，罗切斯特先生一直留在我的脑海里。现在，我在这第一个夜晚站在小屋门口，望着静静的田野，任由自己想象着在法国南部的小白屋里我们会过怎样一种生活。他会爱我。噢，是的，他会一时非常爱我。“他的确爱过我。”我想。“再不会有谁像他那样爱我。”但是我又告诫自己，我只能成为他在异国的情妇，时间不会长，直到他厌倦我了。在这里做教师，生活在英格兰健康的腹地，我会更