Under The Net - Iris Murdoch [14]
�-tet� 'You're sure Belfounder won't make trouble?' Sammy asked then. 'I tell you it's a gentleman's agreement,' said Sadie. 'And you're no gentleman!' said Sammy. And he nearly choked himself laughing. By now it was clear to me that I had done right to eavesdrop. If ever two people were plotting something, Sadie and Sammy were. But what was it all about? Who was it who had to be caught in London? What did make sense was this, that Sadie was engaged in double-crossing Hugo, doubtless because she was jealous of his preference for Anna. I must hear more, I thought, and sat there with my eyes popping out. But as I did so I noticed something rather annoying. The back of Sadie's house was close to the back of a house in the next street. In fact the two houses might be said to overlook each other. The opposite house had a fire escape which was the twin of Sadie's, and between these two erections was a distance of only some fifteen feet. Now my eavesdropping position necessitated my staring straight into one of the rooms of this house. That is, my head had been turned more or less in that direction, though I had been far too preoccupied to perceive anything up to the moment when I noticed that two women were watching me closely from the room opposite. One of them wore a red pinafore, and the other was a powerful-looking woman with a hat on. I dropped my eyes, and was brought sharply back to the conversation behind me by hearing my own name mentioned. I missed that sentence. The next one was from Sammy, who said, 'As a script it certainly has everything.' 'Good for Madge!' Sadie said. 'She can pick a winner.' 'Too bad she didn't back him too!' said Sammy. More laughter. 'You're sure he couldn't make a case?' Sammy asked. 'Not a clear one,' said Sadie, 'and that's all that matters. He probably has nothing in writing, and if he ever had he'll have lost it. 'He can refuse us permission to use it, though,' said Sammy. 'But, don't you see,' said Sadie, 'that doesn't matter. All we need the thing for is to get H. K. to sign on the dotted line.' All this was of absorbing interest, though I still couldn't for the life of me see what it meant. At this point there occurred another distraction. The two women opposite had opened their window wide and were looking at me with considerable suspicion. It is hard consistently to avoid the gaze of someone fifteen feet away who is trying to catch your eye, especially when there is nothing else in the vicinity which you can plausibly be thought to be looking at. I smiled politely. They consulted each other. Then the one in the hat called out, 'Are you all right?' This was very unnerving. It required an iron discipline to prevent myself from getting up and running. I prayed that Sammy and Sadie hadn't heard. Meanwhile I nodded my head vigorously and directed a happy smile in the direction of the two ladies. 'Are you sure?' she asked again. Almost in despair I nodded, and added to my smile such gestures indicative of total well-being as it is possible to perform in a sitting position with one's back against a door. I shook hands with myself, held up my thumb and index finger in the form of an 0, and smiled even more emphatically. 'If you ask me, I think he's an escaped loonie,' said the second woman. They retired a little from the window. 'I'm going to tell my husband,' I heard one of them saying. Sadie and Sammy were still talking. By now my ears were nearly leaving my head and gluing themselves on to the door behind me. 'What are you so nervous about?' Sadie was saying. There was no doubt who was using whom in this connivance of unsavoury characters. 'Present him with the star and the script and your contracts, and we have a flying start. Belfounder hasn't anything on us legally; and if he starts making complaints I can make plenty of counter-complaints about the way I was treated. As for young Donaghue, we can buy him any day of the week.' This annoyed me so much I nearly got up and banged on the door. But at once Sammy replied, 'I don't know. These fellows have funny scruples.' Good for Sammy! I thought; and I was seized forthwith by a convulsive desire to laugh, and had to prevent myself by covering my mouth violently. The woman with the pinafore reappeared at her window, and at the same time the woman with the hat, who evidently lived in the flat above, appeared at a higher window accompanied by a man 'There he is!' she said, pointing to me. Then they came out on to the fire escape. 'Perhaps he's deaf and dumb,' said the woman with the pinafore. 'Can't you say anything?' called the man on the fire escape. This was becoming embarrassing. I glared at him, and pointing into my mouth shook my head vigorously. I wasn't sure whether nodding wouldn't have conveyed my meaning more clearly, but the possibilities of misunderstanding were in any case so enormous that it didn't seem to matter much one way or the other. 'He's hungry,' said the woman in the pinafore. 'Why don't you do something?' said the woman in the hat to her husband in that maddening way women have. I felt quite sorry for the fellow. He scratched his head. 'Why can't we just leave him alone?' he said. 'He's not doing any harm.' This was such a sensible remark that I couldn't but wave to him my congratulations and fellow-feelings. The effect must have been gruesome. He recoiled. 'You can't leave him there,' said the woman with the pinafore. She had come out on to the fire escape too. 'He's looking straight into our rooms. Suppose the children were to see him?' 'I tell you, he's got away from somewhere!' said the woman above. A female who was obviously a char then appeared at the kitchen door of the flat below, and had to have the whole matter explained to her. All this while I was in a cold sweat in case the hullabaloo might attract the attention of Sadie and Sammy; but they were either so drunk or else so absorbed in their plot that so far they had noticed nothing. 'I'd like to look it over again before I see H. K.,' Sadie was saying, 'Where is it, incidentally?' 'It's at my flat,' said Sammy. 'Could we phone and have it brought over at once?' Sadie asked. 'There's no one there,' said Sammy, 'that is unless our new star has come. But that's unlikely.' He laughed. 'You know, I think that was a terribly bad idea of yours,' said Sadie. 'That stuff's just out of date.' 'You're jealous!' said Sammy. 'Look, I'll call there this evening and bring it round then; will that do?' 'That'll do,' said Sadie. 'Late!' said Sammy. 'That'll do!' said Sadie. There was laughing and scuffling. I wished them joy of each other. But most of all I wished that I could understand what in heaven's name they were up to. 'I'll leave squaring Donaghue to you,' said Sammy. 'We aren't on very good terms,' said Sadie. 'Did I tell you I tried to employ him as a caretaker, but he cleared off?' 'With Belfounder on the rampage you'll need an armed guard,' said Sammy. 'But why employ an ass like Donaghue? You really have no common sense at all.' 'I rather like him,' said Sadie simply. This bit touched me deeply. 'Well, you look after him then,' said Sammy. 'Oh, stop worrying, will you?' said Sadie. 'One translation's just like another. If he won't let us use his we can buy another translation overnight. All we need is to let H. K. see it now in English. As for the Frenchman, he'd sell us his grandmother for dollars.' This set me reeling, and I was just getting to the answer when Sammy gave it to me. 'It makes a nice title, doesn't it?' he said. 'The Wooden Nightingale.' I sat there with my mouth open. But I was given no time to reflect. The scene opposite claimed my attention once more; things over there were beginning to move fast. 'Better call the police, if you ask me,' said the char. 'Better to let the police deal with them kind, I always think.' The house opposite stood on one side of a wide cobbled lane which gave on to Queen Anne Street. At the corner of this lane I now saw that a small crowd was collecting, attracted by the drama on the fire escape. 'Look at 'I'm looking down!' said the char. "E knows what's going on!' 'You go and dial nine nine nine,' said the woman in the hat to her husband. Then the char, who had retired for a moment, reappeared armed with an extremely long cobweb brush. 'Shall I poke 'I'm with my brush and see what 'e does?' she asked; and she forthwith mounted the fire escape and brought the brush into play, delivering me a sharp jab on the ankle. This was too much. In any case, I had heard enough. I now had all the materials needed for the solution of the problem, and I was in mortal terror that at any moment Sadie and Sammy would come out. With leisurely grace, under the fascinated gaze of many eyes. I uncurled my legs, and crawled on my stomach down the first two or three steps. After that I stood up, and rubbed my limbs, which had become very stiff, and walked without haste down the fire escape. 'I told you he was mad!' said the woman in the pinafore. 'He's getting away! Do something!' said the woman in the hat. 'Oh, let him go, poor devil!' said the husband. 'Quick!' said the char. And they all hurried down the other fire escape to join the little crowd at the bottom. When I reached the foot of the steps I took a quick look back to see if anyone had emerged from Sadie's flat. There was no one. My tormentors were standing all together in the laneway. We looked at each other in silence. 'Creep up on him slow like,' said the char. 'Look out, he may be dangerous,' said someone else. They stood hesitating. I took a look behind me, the alley which led into Welbeck Street was clear. Uttering a piercing hiss I suddenly rushed forward towards them; and they scattered in terror, some retreating up the fire escape and some back down the lane. Then I doubled back into Welbeck Street and took to my heels.