The Valley of Bones - Anthony Powell [12]
‘Tell the Orderly Corporal Mr Bithel is reporting sick this morning, Williams,’ he said.
‘Right you are, sir.’
Williams went off down the stairs two at a time.
‘I’ll come and have a look at old Bithel later,’ said Kedward. ‘Tell him he’s been reported sick. Nothing much will be expected of him this morning, Sunday and newly joined.’
This was prudent handling of the situation. Kedward clearly knew how to act in an emergency. I suspected that Gwatkin, confronted with the same situation, might have made a fuss about Bithel’s state. This show of good sense on Kedward’s part impressed me. I indicated to him the false teeth gripping the cigar, but their horror left him cold. We moved on to breakfast. It had to be admitted Bithel had not made an ideal start to his renewed army career.
‘I expect old Bithel had a glass too much last night,’ said Kedward, as we breakfasted. ‘I once drank more than I ought. You feel terrible. Ever done that, Nick?’
‘Yes.’
‘Awful, isn’t it?’
‘Awful, Idwal.’
‘We’ll go along early together, and you can take over your platoon for Church Parade.’
He told me where to meet him. However, very unexpectedly, Bithel himself appeared downstairs before it was time for church. He smiled uncomfortably when he saw me.
‘Never feel much like breakfast on Sundays for some reason,’ he said.
I warned him that he had been reported sick.
‘I found that out from the boy, Williams, who is acting as my batman,’ said Bithel. ‘Got it cancelled. While I was talking to him, I discovered there was another boy called Daniels from my home town who might take on being my regular servant. Williams got hold of him for me. I liked the look of him.’
We set off up the street together. Bithel was wearing the khaki side-cap that had been set on the sponge-bag the night before. A size too small for him, it was placed correctly according to Standing Orders – in this respect generally disregarded in wartime – squarely on the centre of his head. The cap was also cut higher than normal (like Saint-Loup’s, I thought), which gave Bithel the look of a sprite in pantomime; perhaps rather – taking into consideration his age, bulk, moustache – some comic puppet halfway between the Walrus and the Carpenter. His face was pitted and blotched like the surface of a Gruyere cheese, otherwise he seemed none the worse from the night before, except for some shortness of breath. He must have seen me glance at his cap, because he smiled ingratiatingly.
‘Regulations allow these caps,’ he said. ‘They’re more comfortable than those peaked SD affairs. Cheaper, too. Got this one for seventeen bob, two shillings off because slightly shop-soiled. You don’t notice the small stain on top, do you?’
‘Not at all.’
He looked behind us and lowered his voice.
‘None of the rest of them were at the ’varsity,’ he said.
‘I’ve been making inquiries. What do you do in Civvy Street – that’s the correct army phrase, I believe.’
I indicated that I wrote for the papers, not mentioning books because, if not specifically in your line, authorship is an embarrassing subject for all concerned. Besides, it never sounds like a serious occupation. Up to that moment, no one had pressed inquiries further than that, satisfied that journalism was a known form of keeping body and soul together, even if an esoteric one.
‘I thought you might do something of the sort,’ said Bithel, speaking with respect. ‘I was trained for professional life too – intended for an auctioneer, like my pa. Never cared for the work somehow. Didn’t even finish my training, as a matter of fact. Always been more or less interested in the theatre. Had walk-on parts once or twice but I’m no actor. I’m quite aware of that. I like doing odd jobs in any case. Can’t bear being tied down. Worked for a time in our local cinema, for instance. Didn’t have to do much except turn up in the evening wearing a dinner jacket.’
‘Does that sort of thing bring in enough?’
‘Not much cash in it, of course. You’ll never make a fortune that way, but I rub along all right with the few pennies I have already. Helps not being married. I expect you