The Studs Lonigan Trilogy - James T. Farrell [3]
St. Patrick’s meant a lot of things. St. Patrick’s meant…..Lucy.
Lucy Scanlan would stand on the same stage with him in a few hours, and. she would receive her diploma. She would wear a white dress, just like his sister Frances, and Weary’s sister Fran, and she would receive her diploma. Everybody said that Fran Lonigan and Fran Reilley were the two prettiest girls in the class ell, if you asked him, the prettiest girl in the class was black-bobbed-haired Lucy.
He got soft, and felt like he was all mud and mush inside; held his hand over his heart, and told himself:
My Lucy!
He flicked some ashes in the sink, and said to himself: Lucy, I love you!
Once when he had been in the sixth grade, he had walked home with Lucy. Now, he puffed his cigarette, and the sneer went off his face. He thought of the March day when he had walked home with her. He had walked home with her. All along Indiana Avenue, he had been liking her, wanting to kiss her. Now, he remembered that day as clearly as if it had just happened. He remembered it better than the day when he was just a punk and he had bashed the living moses out of that smoke who pulled a razor on him over in Carter Playground, and a gang of guys had carried him around on their shoulders, telling him what a great guy he was, and how, when he grew up, he would become the white hope of the world, and lick Jack Johnson for the heavyweight championship. He remembered the day with Lucy, and his memory of it was like having an awful thirst for a cold drink of clear cold water or a chocolate soda on a hot day. It had been a windy day in March, without any sun. The air had seemed black, and the sky blacker, and all the sun that day had been in his thoughts of her. He had had all kinds of goofy, dizzy feelings that he liked. They had walked home from school along Indiana Avenue, he and Lucy. They hadn’t spoken much, and they had stopped every little while to look at things. They had stopped at the corner of Sixtieth, and he had shown her the basement windows they had broken, just to get even with old Boushwah, the Hunkie janitor, because he always ran them off the grass when they goofed on their way home from school. And she had pretended that it was awful for guys to break windows; when he could see by the look in her eyes that she didn’t at all think it so terrible. And they had walked on slow, pigeon-toed slow, slower, so that it would take them a long time to go home. He had carried her books, too, and they had talked about this and that, about the skating season that was just finished, and about the spelling match between the fifth- and sixth-grade boys and girls, where both of them had been spelled down at the first crack of the bat, and they had talked about just talk. When they came to the elevated structure near Fifty-ninth, he had shown her where they played shinny with tin cans, and she said it was a dangerous game, and you were liable to get your shins hurt. Then he had shown her where he had climbed up the girder to the top, just below the elevated tracks, and she had shivered because it was such a dangerous brave thing to do, and he had felt all proud, like a hero, or like Bronco Billy or Eddie Polo in the movies. They had walked home lazy, and he had carried her books, and he wished he had the price to buy her candy or a soda, even if it was Lent, and they had stood before the gray brisk twos building where she lived, and he had wanted, as the devil wants souls, to kiss her, and he hadn