The Studs Lonigan Trilogy - James T. Farrell [227]
“What you doing, Malloy?” asked Doyle.
“Down at the water works with my old man.”
“I been thinking of going into the political game myself,” said Tommy.
Fat pulled out a poem about gonorrhea. Studs said he went to confession. Fat said he was sorry. The other boys looked at it privately. It turned Studs’ mind to girls. He started home to avoid the occasion of sin. He stepped on sidewalk cracks to keep his mind off women. Christ, he wanted one. He remembered how, as a kid, he used to count the cracks on a sidewalk as he walked. Those days. A girl walked ahead of him. Young. He liked young girls, something about them when they were just budding, when they were the age Lucy had been that day the punks had had the tin-can fight, the age that that bitch, Nellie Cullen, had been. But it had been nice with her, even if he had been dosed. Jesus, he wanted a girl that age again. Like the one in front of him. He would take her over to the park, kiss her, gradually work her up, pat her head, kiss her hair, her eyes, nose, mouth, ears, neck, feel her back and her boobs on the outside, stick his hand inside her dress, french-kiss her, grab under her dress... He came to realizing what kind of thoughts these were. But he hadn’t done it will-fully. They had been temptations, not sins. They had come on him without his being aware of them. A sin had to be a grievous matter and have sufficient reflection and full consent of the will before it was mortal. He hadn’t thought of having these thoughts or willed them. They had just snuck up on him. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the girl. He wanted to swear, do something. And he had to keep himself in the state of grace all day tomorrow, until Sunday morning. He counted his steps, and avoided landing on the cracks in the sidewalk.
V
On Sunday morning at the eight o’clock mass, St. Patrick’s Church was jammed with young people. Father Shannon, in his brief sermon, said it was an edifying sight indeed to see how successful this mission had been, to see so many young men and young women doing the honorable, courageous thing by marching up to the altar to receive their God. It was the kind of a demonstration that made himself and Father Kandinsky, and also Father Gilhooley and his assistants, take renewed heart and courage, because they realized that they did not labor in the Lord’s Vineyard in vain, did not sow seed on fallow ground.
Three priests and over twenty minutes were required to give out Holy Communion. Studs went to the altar rail with a free conscience. He had gone back to confession again on Saturday, even though everybody had kidded him. He was certain that way that he was in a state of grace, after the thoughts he’d had Friday night. All the hoods received and Phil Rolfe knelt amongst them receiving his first Holy Communion.
In the afternoon, the church was crowded for the formal closing of the mission. Father Kandinsky delivered a short sermon, lauding them for their good works and intentions of the past week, and telling them about the mission collection that would be taken up before they left the church. He followed it with a short exposition of the sins in violation of each commandment, but he said little exciting about the sixth commandment. They lit their candles, and followed him, word by word, in a renewal of their baptismal vows. They received the Papal Blessing and Plenary Indulgences, and Benediction of the Most Blessed Sacrament followed. After it, the mission was over.
On Sunday evening, the boys gathered around the corner. Slug suggested a drink. They refused. They hung around, gas-sing, and smoking, looking at the drug store clock, wondering what the hell to do. Again they refused to drink with Slug. They hung around. Slug kept insisting that one beer wouldn’t hurt them. They went down the street to Colisky’s saloon and had a beer. They had another. Before they realized it, they were drinking gin. They got drunk and raised hell around the corner. They hung around until Slug talked them into going to a new can house, a small place. They went and had the girlies, and gypped them out of their pay. It was a big night.