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By Root 24462 0

’s mistake. Cicotte and Faber were in form now, and that strengthened the team, and they had Zeb Terry at shortstop playing a whale of a game, with Joe Jackson on the club, and Weaver at third, playing bang-up ball and not making an error a game like he had playing shortstop, and Collins and Schalk, and a better pitching staff, they would get going like a house on fire, and he’d have to be stepping out and seeing them play regular. Well, he could read all about it, and about the food riots in Rotterdam, and the bloody battle in which the Germans had captured Vaux, afterwards. Now, he’d have to be going inside, putting on his tie, and going up with Mary and the kids for the doings. He sat there, comfortable, puffing away. Life was a good thing if you were Patrick J. Lonigan and had worked hard to win out in the grim battle, and God had been good to you. But then, he had earned the good things he had. Yes, sir, let God call him to the Heavenly throne this very minute, and he could look God square in the eye and say he had done his duty, and he had been, and was, a good father. They had given the kids a good home, fed and clothed them, set the right example for them, sent them to Catholic schools to be educated, seen that they performed their religious duties, hustled them off to confession regularly, given them money for the collection, never allowed them to miss mass, even in winter, let them play properly so they’d be healthy, given them money for good clean amusements like the movies because they were also educational, done every-thing a parent can do for a child.

He puffed his stogy and sat there. The sun was imperceptibly burning low. Old man Lonigan looked about. He puffed on his stogy, and his innards made their customary noises as they diligently furthered the digestive process.

III

Frances rushed upon him, and with excited little-girl madness she asked him to make William get out of the bathroom.

The old man rapped on the bathroom door and told Bill to hurry up.

“Father, he’s just a mean old brute. He’s been in there an hour. He’s reading or smoking cigarettes.”

“Why, Frances!” the mother said.

“No, I ain’t.”

“Bill, tell me... are you smoking?”

“Aw, she’s all vacant upstairs.”

“Why, that is no language for an educated Catholic boy to use,” the mother said.

“Father, he’s mean and selfish. He’s a brute, a beast. He isn’t fair, and he doesn’t give anyone else the least bit of consideration. I’ll be late. I can’t go. You’ll have to get my diplomas, and they’ll have to let someone else act. I can’t go. I can’t go. He’s made me all nervous and unstrung. I’m unstrung, and I can’t act now. I can’t. And I’m worried because I’m not sure if my dress is even or not and I have to go in there. Father, please make the brute come out,” Frances said melodramatically.

“All right. I’ll be right out. I can’t help it,” Studs said.

“Make him, Father!”

“Goddamn it, Bill, hurry!”

“I will.”

“He’s always like this,” Frances said.

“I ain’t.”

“Every time I’m in a hurry, he’s getting in the way. He’s selfish, and don’t think of anyone but his dirty old self, and he always monopolizes the bathroom... he’s an ole ... goat,” said Frances.

“Aw, shut up and go to hell,” said Studs as he fanned the air.

“Why, William Lonigan! Father, did you hear him insult me, swear at me, like I was one of those roughnecks from Fifty-eighth Street I sometimes see him with?”

“Bill, come right out. I’ll not have you cursing in this house. I’m boss here, and so long as I am, you will use gentlemanly language when you address your sister. Where do you learn to speak like that, you, with the education I’ve given you? You don’t hear anyone around here speaking like that,” said the old man.

“Aw, heck, she’s always blowing off her kazoo,” said Studs.

“William, I wish that you wouldn’t use such language. After receiving such a fine education... I’m shocked,” said the mother.

“He doesn’t know any better. He couldn’t be a gentleman if he tried to,” Frances said.

“Now, Frances, don’t add fuel to the fire,” the mother said.

“All right. I’m coming right out. I couldn