The Heart of the Matter - Graham Greene [37]
‘Cattle smugglers. I’m not interested in cattle.’
‘Other things are apt to go back the other way.’
‘You are still dreaming of diamonds, Major Scobie. Everybody has gone crazy about diamonds since the war.’
‘Don’t feel too certain, Yusef, that I won’t find something when I go through Pemberton’s office.’
‘I feel quite certain, Major Scobie. You know I cannot read or write. Nothing is ever on paper. Everything is always in my head.’ Even while Yusef talked, Scobie dropped asleep - into one of those shallow sleeps that last a few seconds and have only time to reflect a preoccupation. Louise was coming towards him with both hands held out and a smile that he hadn’t seen upon her face for years. She said, ‘I am so happy, so happy,’ and he woke again to Yusef’s voice going soothingly on. ‘It is only your friends who do not trust you, Major Scobie. I trust you. Even that scoundrel Tallit trusts you.’
It took him a moment to get this other face into focus. His brain adjusted itself achingly from the phrase ‘so happy’ to the phrase ‘do not trust’. He said, ‘What are you talking about, Yusef?’ He could feel the mechanism of his brain creaking, grinding, scraping, cogs failing to connect, all with pain.
‘First, there is the Commissionership.’
‘They need a young man,’ he said mechanically, and thought, if I hadn’t fever I would never discuss a matter like this with Yusef.
‘Then the special man they have sent from London ...’
‘You must come back when I’m clearer, Yusef. I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.’
‘They have sent a special man from London to investigate the diamonds - they are crazy about diamonds - only the Commissioner must know about him - none of the other officers, not even you.’
‘What rubbish you talk, Yusef. There’s no such man.’
‘Everybody guesses but you.’
‘Too absurd. You shouldn’t listen to rumour, Yusef.’
‘And a third thing. Tallit says everywhere you visit me.’
‘Tallit! Who believes what Tallit says?’
‘Everybody everywhere believes what is bad.’
‘Go away, Yusef. Why do you want to worry me now?’
‘I just want you to understand, Major Scobie, that you can depend on me. I have friendship for you in my soul. That is true, Major Scobie, it is true.’ The reek of hair-oil come closer as he bent towards the bed: the deep brown eyes were damp with what seemed to be emotion. ‘Let me pat your pillow. Major Scobie.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, keep away,’ Scobie said.
‘I know how things are. Major Scobie, and if I can help ..» I am a well-off man.’
‘I’m not looking for bribes, Yusef,’ he said wearily and turned his head away to escape the scent.
‘I am not offering you a bribe, Major Scobie. A loan at any time on a reasonable rate of interest - four per cent per annum. No conditions. You can arrest me next day if you have facts. I want to be your friend. Major Scobie. You need not be my friend. There is a Syrian poet who wrote, "Of two hearts one is always warm and one is always cold: the cold heart is more precious than diamonds: the warm heart has no value and is thrown away."‘
‘It sounds a very bad poem to me. But I’m no judge.’
‘It is a happy chance for me that we should be here together. In the town there are so many people watching. But here, Major Scobie, I can be of real help to you. May I fetch you more blankets?’
‘No, no, just leave me alone.’
‘I hate to see a man of your characteristics, Major Scobie, treated badly.’
‘I don’t mink the time’s ever likely to come, Yusef, when I shall need your pity. If you want to do something for me, though, go away and let me sleep.’
But when he slept the unhappy dreams returned. Upstairs Louise was crying, and he sat at a table writing his last letter. ‘It’s a rotten business for you, but it can’t be helped. Your loving husband, Dicky,’ and then as he turned to look for a weapon or a rope, it suddenly occurred to him that this was an act he could never do. Suicide was for ever out of his power - he couldn’t condemn himself for eternity - no cause was important enough. He tore up his letter and ran upstairs to tell Louise that after all everything was all right, but she had stopped crying and the silence welling out from inside the bedroom terrified him. He tried the door and the door was locked. He called out,