The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [89]
He walked around the side of the house. Looking at the laurels. Dark round here. Get this light on. Miss Frost keeps a clean kitchen. Into her room.
"Please don't get up, Lilly, leave this to me."
"Let me. You're tired. It's no trouble at all, Mr. Danger-field."
"On this last night, Lilly, do call me Sebastian."
"I just can't. Don't make me, but come sit down. I'll make it. You have such a long journey ahead."
"Aye. It's very good of you. May I look in your book, Lilly?"
"It's one of those awful things."
"Lilly I'm terribly chilled, that walk I think has given me a little a-choo, my nose is stuffed. I wonder could I just get into your nice warm bed here ? "
"But we really shouldn't anymore."
"Just till I get my teeth into the rashers and eggs."
"You have an awful way with you, Mr. Dangerfield."
"It's your hot water bottle, I just can't keep away from it."
She left him sitting on his chair. And he took his garments off. Shoes neatly beside the bed. Winds outside. Keep telling myself they are temperate, moist and warm. Spend my life huddled over a weather map. Guest in Lilly's cozy bed. Pretty name. What made me do it? Call her white and pure. Virgin. Driven snow. And I'm sneaking between these sheets, deep down after the bottle, catch it, hook it, pull it up here near my balls and wait for her. When I'm in London I think I'll join the Trinity College Dining Club. I read the soothing words which said the Dining Club exists to promote mutual intercourse and good fellowship among T.C.D. men, to provide an opportunity for renewing old friendships and keep Trinity men in touch with the life of the University. I keep telling myself that I'm one of you because I never want to lose faith. Something to hang on to. And I'll come along in the evenings and sit with you. I will be reserved and listen. To those things dear to me. I hope it's raining. And step out of my carriage, suck down a few lungs of fat fog. Wearing my Trinity tie. What a handsome tie it is. Most illustrious of all. I say, Trinity? Why yes. You? Yes. Forty-eight. Forty-six and any other year you want to name. How do you do, I'm Dangerfield. Jolly good show, this. Quite. In fact, bung, frightfully ho. Will there be chandeliers? Chicken? Sprouts? Fire? And will this be what I want? Please.
Lilly came in with tea. The long red strips across the plate and the two yolks glistening. And buttered bread. A light green napkin. She puts it down.
"Lilly."
"O you'll make me spill it."
"Just a little one. On the lips. There."
"It'll scald you if I drop it."
Just my cup of tea. You are.
"Lilly, this is very good of you. I need this, this warmth and food. I sometimes wonder if there is an island a little smaller than this one where we could go."
"It would be nice."
"Lilly, you've been packing your bags."
"Yes."
"This is all a pitiful life. I want to settle somewhere. Stay there for good. Fm sick of moving. We must have somewhere to call our own. Lilly. I think that's what we all need and stop this moving."
"My aunt said she would do with me till I got other digs."
"What's your aunt like?"
"She has a studio out in the back of the house where she paints these models in the nude. I posed for her once and felt awful."
"Why?"
"The way she looked at me."
"Lust?"
"Yes."
"It's everywhere. Lilly. Everywhere. I don't see how it can be stopped. It'll never get you anywhere save to bed."
"O Mr. Dangerfield, you go on."
"I hate to leave you. I feel it's unfair."
"You don't have to worry about me, Mr. Dangerfield. I'll take care of myself."
"But I want to know that you're going to be all right."
"What about Mrs. Dangerfield? I know it's none of my business but I felt you were so right for one another."
"Little confusion. I don't think there was enough of the money. Mrs. Dangerfield thought I was rotten rich. I think there is a considerable fortune somewhere but it's a little tied up. But I've got plans."
"I'd like to get married."
"Be careful. Want to watch these Irishmen."
"Not one of those. I'd like an Indian."
"An American one? Like me. Did you know Fm part Mohawk? Woo hoo."