The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [65]
"Mary, just see if there's another bottle of stout before I go. A little sup to see me right on the long journey. See if there isn't one or two I could be carrying. Makes me think better."
"You're very fond of stout."
"Fond, Mary, is not the word. It's in me blood and a few other things as well. I want you to write to me care of The Geary Post Office. But don't use my name. I want you to use Percivil Buttermere. The spelling's important. P-e-r-c-i-v-i-l B-u-t-t-e-r-m-e-r-e."
"This is fun."
"This, Mary, is a matter of playing who lives the longest."
"You're sweet. And will we have a room together and you'll do all of it? Will we?"
"We will."
"I don't care if we die."
"Don't say that. Give God ideas. We must discourage that attitude. Just put these bottles in some paper."
"Kiss me once more."
"And don't forget Percivil Buttermere. That's very important. And I'll tell you when to send the money. And not a word to anyone."
"I won't tell anyone. I don't have anyone to tell anyway."
"Got to go."
"Once more with your tongue."
There was yelling going on in Mary's house and no screams from her. I got out of the street fast. Passed by the cattle market. And men growling at the bullocks. Which is which. They were prodding moaning beef through the gates and they'll shoot them in the head or put them on the ship. This night's over. Means waiting for another.
A fresh, new morning. A few souls in the streets. He went into a public house where old men sat, hands around pints of cider, spitting narrowly in the sawdust. Conversation ceased as Dangerfield came in. Each took a turn to look around.
There was a man
Who made a boat
To sail away
And it sank.
17
My eyes are glued together. Feet blistered. What have I done?
At least I'm not in jail. Lay a bit to get the latitude and longitude. I'll never do this again. Seems I had something to do with cattle. And with drink. And with several parties. And pints of cider. Claws the brain apart. I don't like this when I don't even know what month it is. Who's been meddling with the dresser and pulling out the drawers? And I've only got a sheet and coat over me. Marion? Just a mattress on her springs.
He sat up. Rubbed the flakes out of the eyes. The door bell ringing. Close the watertight compartments. Latch the hatches. Seal up, we're going down you mad bastards. The back door.
Sebastian crawled naked through the morning room into the kitchen. Turned the key and scrabbling back to the morning room, waiting under the table. Through the mirror on the opposite wall he saw the cap of the mailman pass by. I've got to see the postman. Get a blanket off Miss Frost's bed.
The mailman coining around the side. Dangerfield opening the door.
"I say there"
"I was just around the back. Thought you might not hear the bell. I have a registered letter for you, sir. There was no one in yesterday."
"Been out. I was just taking a bath."
"Will you sign here, please? Sorry to disturb you, sir. Be a bit warmer today."
"I sincerely hope so. Thank you very much. If ever you don't find me in, just put it under the door."
"And there's one more."
"Right."
"Thank you, sir."
"Good day"
Good mailman that Write to the Minister of Posts and Telegraphs and have that man moved up. Just get a knife and slit these.
Dear Mr. Dangerfield,
I have tried, without success, to get in touch with you at your present address. I am sending this letter by registered post in the hope that it will finally reach you. I have a great number of things to do and I find it hard to spare time trying to get in touch with you.
As you know you were fifty-four pounds in arrears with your rent and also that you have violated your lease which is not up until November next year, leaving fourteen months and one week and four days. I will gladly cut off one week four days if you would be considerate and send me all or part of the sum this week. My wife is not feeling too well since we have had so much trouble dealing with this property. And when we went to see the house I was sorry to find it in such a condition as to make my wife feel sick to her stomach.