The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [43]
He brought his glass back to the bar, and walked out. Get on the tram. On to the tram because we are all going to East Geenga. I'm a man for getting off at the end of the line. I've had more than I can bear. Take me on the ship, away. To Florida. I drove my big car right through The Everglades. A little wet and soggy. I used to walk around Fort Lauderdale drunk and diving in the canals at night killing alligators. And drive along Miami Beach steering with my toes. What do you want me to do. Stay on this dreary stage of church- bound hopelessness? This country is foreign to me. I want to go back to Baltimore. I've never had a chance to see everything, or ride the trains, or see all the little towns. Pick up girls in amusement parks. Or smell them with the peanuts in Suffolk, Virginia. I want to go back.
Quick feet up the street Seeing nothing on either side. No houses or stairs or iron spokes of fences. Half running, tripping, pounding, pulling the air aside.
Slow down. Nonchalant, and careful too, while going in, possessed with reserve and other things as well and we will see about this.
The bar was filled with old men. Spitting secrets in each other's ears. Smoke coming over the top of all the snugs. Faces turning as Dangerfield comes in. The sound of corks ripped pop. Ends of bottles bang on the bar. Seaweedy foam rising in the wet glasses. Rudeness must be dealt with. Swiftly. Put them down, I say, not up, down and don't spare the clubs.
Sebastian stepped to the bar, stood dignified and quiet Bartender removing bottles. Comes along up to him. His eyes meeting the red ones and he nods his head to this tall customer.
"Yes?"
"A double Gold Label.
Bartender turns a few steps and back with the bottle, tense and pouring.
"Water?"
"Soda."
Bartender goes, gets the soda bottle. Squirt, squirt A blast coming out of it. Whoops. The whiskey shot up the sides of the glass, splashing on the bar.
"Sorry, sir."
"Yes."
"It's a new bottle."
"Quite."
Bartender puts away the bottle and comes back for the money. Stands embarrassed in front of Dangerfield. Licking his lips, ready to speak, but waits, says nothing. Dangerfield looking at him. The old men sensing disaster, turning on their stools to watch.
"Two shillings"
"I was in this public house this afternoon about four o'clock. Do you remember ? "
"I do"
"And you refused to serve me."
"Yes."
"On the grounds that I was drunk. Is that correct?"
"That's correct."
"Do you think I am drunk now?"
"That's not for me to decide."
"You decided that this afternoon. I repeat. Do you think I am drunk now?"
"I want no trouble."
"Half my whiskey is on the bar."
"No trouble now."
"Would you mind bringing me the bottle to replace the amount splashed in my face."
Bartender in his white shirt and sleeves rolled up brings back the bottle. Sebastian taking out the cork and filling his glass to the brim.
"You can't do that. We don't have much of that"
"I repeat. Do you think I'm drunk now."
"Now peacefully, no trouble, no trouble, we don't want any trouble here. No, I don't think you're drunk. Not drunk. Little excited. No."
"I'm a sensitive person. I hate abuse. Let them all hear."
"Quietly now, peace."
"Shut up while I'm talking."
All the figures spinning about on their stools and flat feet
"No trouble now, no trouble."
"Shut up. Am I drunk? Am I drunk?"
"No."
"Why you Celtic lout I am. I'm drunk. Hear me, I'm drunk and I'm going to level this kip, level it to the ground, and anyone who doesn't want his neck broken get out"
The whiskey bottle whistled past the bartender's head, splattering in a mass of glass and gin. Dangerfield drank off the whiskey in a gulp and a man up behind him with a stout bottle which he broke on Dangerfield's head, stout dripping over his ears and down his face, reflectively licking it from around his mouth. The man in horror ran from the building. The bartender went down the trap door in the floor. Sebastian over the bar standing on it Selecting a bottle of brandy for further reference. Three brave figures at the door peering in upon the chaos and saying stop him, as this Danger made for the door and one man's hand reached out to grab him and it was quickly twisted till the fingers broke with his squeal of agony and the other two lay back to attack from behind and he jumped phoof on Dangerfield's shoulders and was flipped neatly on his arse five paces down the street The rest had gone to doorways or posing that they were just out walking their dogs.