The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [110]
"This is a nice place. I'm glad to be shut of Dublin."
"Lot say that."
"When I got ill and told him I wasn't going to jump for him anymore he was soon up out of his bed."
"What did he say about London?"
"Said he'd have the Guarda. But I told him to go to the devil and if he put another finger to me that I'd have the Guarda."
"What did he say?"
"He'd get the priest to me. I was fed up. I told him his own soul was covered with lies. And that the boys were well away not to have to listen to him again. He's had his own way for long enough. Told me he was an old man and didn't have long to go and that I shouldn't leave him alone. And I said you want me to stay now. Me who has been out with men. Then he said his heart was ticking its last and to call the priest for him before I left the house."
"O I wouldn't be too hard now. Poor man. Perhaps the only little comfort he's after is to poison the Pope.'"
"I'm glad he's had to suffer. And to be shut of it all. The Tolka was the only thing I enjoyed anymore. To walk across Phoenix Park to Chapleizod and Lucan Road. And go into Sarsfield. It's so lovely along there by the river in the trees. I used to think of you there. Don't laugh, I really did."
The smell of wine and sweet chicken meat. The waiter bringing sprouts and baked potatoes. Whee. Were it not for my tram rides through sleep when I got off at the stops called despair and had to get up out of the cozy bed to make myself a cup of milk and honey and sat on the wobbly kitchen chair. O that thing called food. Or as Malarkey used to say, Jesus, Sebastian if I ever had money I'd have all my friends to a place of mine in the country where we would sit to a table an Irish mile long with our fists greasy with the lashings of beef and turkey and our women coming from the fire groaning under the weight of the wild berries and plover plucked from the sky, and beat bulls' heads for sport and pick up a whole field and flip it over on its back for planting and Jesus, cover it with a foot thick of chicken shit and rotting kelp and then lash it with ten tons of peaches black decay. O have you ever heard of oats. Or spuds fit to put heathen desires in ye for the rest of your life. Mary leave some chicken for me.
Over there sit three secretaries. And two bald men. I think I like this. Healthier than the pub. OI may give up the pub. And just keep the cheroot, slippers and sewing machine.
"Mary, will you excuse me while I make a phone call?"
"Yes."
Now Landlady, me dear Mrs. Ritzincheck, be big hearted. Put down foul caution and reserve that these limes tell you is playing a sunny wicket
"Hello, Mrs. Ritzincheck?"
"Yes."
"Mrs. Ritzincheck this is Mr. Dangerfield. I'm in a rather difficult position. My fiancee has just arrived in London. Of course I know this is rather an abrupt and perhaps unusual request but I know you will understand and I wonder would you mind awfully if I were to share my room with her. She's a very fine girl."
"Well, Mr. Dangerfield, it's against the rules of the house. I'll have every gentleman requesting to have a lady in his room overnight. I'm sorry."
"Now, now. I know it's asking a bit much but I thought I'd be honest with you since you've been so straightforward with me. But I assure you everything will be conducted with the utmost decorum and perhaps you could explain. My wife, you know. Well, it's only a few weeks till the day. We do so want to be together. And we've been so cut off and she's come all the way from Ireland. And Mrs. Ritzincheck I'd never dare make such a request if I didn't feel you were a woman of sensibility and experience."
"Well, Mr. Dangerfield you certainly have a way of putting it and if there's no disturbance and mind you, if it's a different woman every night there will be no more of it."
"You don't know how grateful I am to you Mrs. Ritzin-check. You have no idea."
"I have an idea all right."
"That's excellent. Thanks again. We'll be arriving in a short while."
Dangerfield austerely at the pay booth saying indeed I will when they said I hope you will come again sir. And he 3o8 pivoted exquisitely to usher Mary out before him. Taxi sweeping up. Mary holding his hand as they went for the bag, looking out the window in the crowded streets. Bury me on neutral soil. Perhaps in Austria with simplicity and subdued colors and faces. With my children around me. I want my last moments to have some dignity. Mary sit right up close. Don't be scared of me because I'm all right.