The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [104]
"Come down, come down, come down. Down Dangerfield down"
"Mac, everybody I know these days lives down. Now why is that?"
"The times, the times. And how's your hammer hanging. Step this way, Danger. Into the jaws of strife."
There was a door with a mouth around it. Lips were red and teeth white.
"Mac, this is terrifying. Will I get out undigested."
"And unmolested."
"Mac, I'm relieved to be in London."
"Sit down. I would say you had the odd bit of angst around the eyes."
"A bit of it."
"Now tell me all. I hear they have new bells in hell."
There were two nice soft chairs. A gas fire burning a blue flame on top of which was a pot of glue. On the walls were private prongs. Large ones, medium and curved and, as Mac said, one in the image and likeness of. From a little colorful box came whimpering.
"Mac, for heaven's sake what's in there?"
"Progeny."
"My."
"Now Danger I want news."
"Well I think I can say I've come a long, a rather long way, I can see it all now. It's been hard, evil and even unfair at times. Shall we look at it that way."
"Danger, I want blood."
"Now of course there's been the odd bit of blood. A bit of that. And confusion. Marion's at Withwait with Felicity."
"To interrupt for a moment, Danger. Now I always thought that you would do the right thing and take over one of the wings of Withwait Hall. It's always been the feeling in Dublin that that would be the natural course of events. We felt it would only be a matter of time before guilt drove Admiral Wilful Wilton to suicide and that old lady Wilton would be immediately sent to Harrogate to recover from the blow while you sold off the shooting rights and became the squire of Withwait Fashion now Danger"
"Mac I agree. Death can do me lots of favors"
"And we hear old man Dangerfield isn't well"
"That's true Mac and I must say it makes me very anxious. I'm just screwed. They call me an apostate. They say I've tried to save my own rather blemished skin. Here I am reduced to accent. No hearth nor home. But being here makes me feel there's hope yet. And I'll tell you this. As badly treated as I've been I'U not forget those who gave the helping hand. Even now Tone Malarkey is down behind his battlements. I think if God ever took him into heaven he'd never get him out again. And I think he is secretly planning to win a few quid and buy cement blocks and just concrete himself in with a tunnel down to the Daids for the odd pint. He said the pumping parts of his heart are pure carborundum. Now both of us know that that's pretty hard stuff even with the current rampant scientific advance. Tone said he got the way he is eating live salmon out of the Shannon. And Tone is the only man I know who has never told a lie."
"Danger, I have to admit that what you say is true"
"What in the name of God is that, Mac?"
"He, he."
Mac lifted from a crumpled heap at the foot of his bed the head of a kangaroo. He put it over his skull and wagged it He climbed into the rest of the body and danced around the room.
"Mac, I think it's magnificent"
"My drinking suit And here, a little present I know you will appreciate"
Mac hands over a small brown replica of the head of Blessed Oliver.
"Mac, I don't think you'll ever know how much I need or will cherish this. The teeth are perfect Most significant part of Oliver. Eeeeeee and E for effort Help me spread the fair name of Oliver to these ones with not an ounce of God in them"
"I made the teeth from a piano key"
"Miraculous"
"Wear it"
"I will. And now Mac I must ask us both have we got mouths"
Climbing up out through the jaws, gray trees and night Along the empty wet streets. Huge windows there and a servant comes and pulls the curtains. A great black car glides by, tires humming on the street
"Mac, that's good to see."
"I agree Danger."
"And I haven't seen such wealth for years. Not for years. And I need it. Need it."
"And up here Danger is the Bear Pit but first I must show you something across the street which I know you will be taken with."
MacDoon led Dangerfield over the road. They stopped in front of a fountain and a recess in the wall. There was a poem.