Scoop-Evelyn-Waugh [51]
�hen nestled against him; he laid his cheek against her head and lapsed again into coma. "How happy I am," she said. "I thought he would never come back, that he was dead or had left me. How he sleeps. Is he well? Is he hungry?" "No," said William. "I don't think you need have any anxiety on that point. Within the last hour, to my certain knowledge, he has consumed an entire Christmas dinner designed for four children or six adults." "He must have been starving. Is he not thin?" "No," said William. "Frankly I should not have called him thin." "Ah, you should have seen him before he went away...How he snores. That is a good sign. Whenever he is well he snores like this." She brooded fondly over the unconscious figure. "But he is dirty." "Yes," said William, "very dirty indeed." "William, you sound so cross suddenly. Are you not glad my husband has come back to me?" "Come back to you?" "William you are not jealous. How I despise jealousy. You could not be jealous of my husband. I have been with him for two years, before ever you and I met. I knew he would not leave me. But what are we to do now? I must think..." They both thought, not on the same lines. "I have a plan," said K�hen at last. "Yes?" said William gloomily. "I think it will work nice. My husband is German so the Ishmaelites will not be allowed to hurt him. It is harder for me because of my papers. So I will marry you. Then I shall be English and I and my husband can go away together. You will give us our tickets to Europe. It will not be expensive, we will travel in the second class...How is that?" "There are several serious objections; for one thing the German Legation are not going to protect your friend." "Oh dear. I thought if one had papers one was always safe everywhere...I must think of another plan...If after I marry you, I marry my husband, he would then be English, yes?" "No." "Oh, dear." They had to speak with raised voices to make themselves heard above the German's snores. "Would it be very unkind to wake my husband? He is always full of ideas. He has great experience of difficulties." She shook him into sensibility and they spoke together earnestly in German. William began to collect the distasteful remains of the Christmas dinner; he put the crackers back in their box and arranged the empty tins and bottles outside his door beside his dirty shoes. "Our only hope is the postmaster-general's chauffeur," said K�hen at last. "The town guards know him. If they have not yet heard that the postmaster-general is in prison he can drive through the barricades without difficulty. But he could not get to the frontier. They would telegraph for him to be stopped. The railway is impossible." "There is the river," said the German. "It is high. We could strike it below the cataract fifteen miles from here. Then we could sail down to French territory � if we had a boat." "How much would a boat cost?" asked K�hen. "Once in the Matto Grosso I made a boat," said the German dreamily. "I burned out the centre of an ironwood tree. It took ten weeks to make, and it sank like a stone." "A boat," said K�hen. "But you have a boat � our boat."
They drove through the streets of the sleeping city, the German in front with the postmaster-general's chauffeur, K�hen and William at the back with the canoe. A few hyenas flashed red eyes at them from the rubbish heaps, then turned their mangy rumps and scuttled off into the night. The guards at the barrier saluted and let them pass into the open country. They drove in silence. "I will send you a postcard," said K�hen, at last, "to tell you we are well." Day was breaking as they reached the river; they came upon it suddenly where it flowed black and swift between low banks. There they assembled the canoe; William and K�hen did the work, as they had done before; it was familiar; there was no adventure now in fitting the sockets. The German sat on the running-board of the car, still stupefied with the lack of sleep; his eyes were open; his mouth also. When the boat was ready they called to him to join them. "It is very small," he said. William stood knee-deep among the reeds holding it with difficulty; the current tugged and sucked. K