Scoop-Evelyn-Waugh [43]
PLEASE DON'T WORRY QUITE SAFE AND WELL IN FACT RATHER ENJOYING THINGS WEATHER IMPROVING WILL CABLE AGAIN IF THERE IS ANY NEWS YOURS BOOT.
It was late afternoon in London; at Copper House secretaries were carrying cups of tea to the more leisured departments; in Mr. Salter's office there was tension and consternation. "WEATHER IMPROVING," said Mr. Salter. "WEATHER IMPROVING! He's been in Jacksonburg ten days and all he can tell us is that the weather is improving." "I've got to write a first leader on the Ishmaelite question," said the first-leader-writer. "Lord Copper says so. I've got to wring the withers of the Government. What do I know about it? What have I got to go on? What are special correspondents for? Why don't you cable this Boot and wake him up?" "How many times have we cabled Boot?" asked the foreign editor. "Daily for the first three days, Mr. Salter," said his secretary. "Then twice a day. Three times yesterday." "You see." "And in the last message we mentioned Lord Copper's name," added the secretary. "I never felt Boot was really suited to the job," said Mr. Salter mildly. "I was very much surprised when he was chosen. But he's all we've got. It would take three weeks to get another man out there and by that time anything may have happened." "Yes, the weather may have got still better," said the first-leader-writer, bitterly. He gazed out of the window; it opened on a tiled, resonant well; he gazed at a dozen drainpipes; he gazed straight into the office opposite where the Art Editor was having tea; he gazed up to the little patch of sky and down to the concrete depths where a mechanic was washing his neck at a cold tap; he gazed with eyes of despair. "I have to denounce the vacillation of the Government in the strongest terms," he said. "They fiddle while Ishmaelia burns. A spark is set to the cornerstone of civilization which will shake its roots like a chilling breath. That's what I've got to say and all I know is that Boot is safe and well and that the weather is improving..."
K�hen and William dropped into the Liberty for an aperitif. It was the first time he had been there since his change of residence. "Do either of you happen to know a gentleman by the name of Boot?" asked Mrs. Jackson. "Yes, it's me." "Well there's some cables for you somewhere." They were found and delivered. William opened them one by one. They all dealt with the same topic.
BADLY LEFT ALL PAPERS ALL STORIES
IMPERATIVE RECEIVE PULL STORY TONIGHT SIX YOUR TIME WHY NO NEWS ARE YOU ILL FLASH REPLY
YOUR CABLES UNARRIVED FEAR SUBVERSIVE INTERFERENCE SERVICE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OURS IMMEDIATELY
There were a dozen of them in all; the earliest of the series were modestly signed SALTER; as the tone strengthened his name gave place to MONTGOMERY MOWBRAY GENERAL EDITOR BEAST, then to ELSENGRATZ MANAGING DIRECTOR MEGALOPOLITAN NEWSPAPER. The last, which had arrived that morning, read:�
CONFIDENTIAL AND URGENT STOP LORD COPPER HIMSELF GRAVELY DISASTISFIED STOP LORD COPPER PERSONALLY REQUIRES STORIES STOP ON RECEIPT OF THIS CABLE VICTORY STOP CONTINUE CABLING VICTORIES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE STOP LORD COPPERS CONFIDENTIAL SECRETARY
"What are they all about?" asked K�hen. They don't seem very pleased with me in London. They seem to want more news." How silly. Are you upset?" No...Well, yes, a little." Poor William. I will get you some news. Listen, I have a plan. I have lived in this town for two months. I have many friends. That is to say I had them before my husband went away. They will be my friends again now that they know you are helping me. It will be a good thing for both of us. Listen � all the journalists who were here had men in the town they paid to give them news. Mr. Jakes the American pays Paleologue fifty dollars a week. You like me more than Mr. Jakes likes Paleologue?" "Much more." "Twice as much?" "Yes." "Then you will pay me a hundred dollars a week and Frau Dressler will not be angry with me any more, so it will be a good thing for all of us. Will you think it very greedy if I ask for a hundred dollars now � you know how impolite Frau Dressler is