Scoop-Evelyn-Waugh [21]
There were two nights to wait in Aden for the little ship which was to take them to Africa. William and Corker saw the stuffed mermaid and the wells of Solomon. Corker bought some Japanese shawls and a set of Benares trays; he had already acquired a number of cigarette boxes, an amber necklace and model of Tutankhamen's sarcophagus during his few hours in Cairo; his bedroom at the hotel was an emporium of Oriental Art. "There's something about the East always gets me," he said. "The missus won't know the old home when I've finished with it." These were his recreations. In his serious hours he attempted to interview the Resident, and was rebuffed; tried the captain of a British sloop which was coaling for a cruise in the Persian Gulf; was again rebuffed; and finally spent two hours in conference with an Arab guide who for twenty rupees supplied material for a detailed cable about the defences of the settlement. "No use our both covering it," he said to William. "Your story had better be British unpreparedness. If it suits them, they'll be able to work that up into something at the office. You know �'Aden, the focal point of British security in the threatened area, still sunk in bureaucratic lethargy' � that kind of thing." "Good heavens, how can I say that?" "That's easy, old boy. Just cable ADEN UNWARWISE." On the third morning they sailed for the little Italian port from which the railway led into the mountains of independent Ishmaelia.
In London it was the night of the Duchess of Stayle's ball. John Boot went there because he was confident of finding Mrs. Stitch. It was the kind of party she liked. For half an hour he hunted her among the columns and arches. On all sides stood dignified and vivacious groups of the older generation. Elderly princesses sat in little pools of deportment, while the younger generation loped between buffet and ballroom in subdued and self-conscious couples. Dancing was not an important part of the entertainment; the Duchess's daughters were all admirably married; at eleven o'clock the supper room was full of elderly, hearty eaters. John Boot sought Mrs. Stitch high and low; soon it would be too late, for she invariably went home at one; she was indeed just speaking of going when he finally ran her to earth in the Duke's dressing room, sitting on a bed, eating foie gras with an ivory shoe-horn. Three elderly admirers glared at him. "John," she said, "how very peculiar to see you. I thought you were at the war." "Well, Julia, I'm afraid we must go," said the three old boys. "Wait for me downstairs," said Mrs. Stitch. "You won't forget the opera on Friday?" said one. "I hope Josephine will like the jade horse," said another. "You will be at Alice's on Sunday?" said the third. When they had gone, Mrs. Stitch said: "I must go too. Just tell me in three words what happened. The last thing I heard was from Lord Copper. He telephoned to say you had left." "Not a word from him. It's been very awkward." "The American girl?" "Yes, exactly. We said good-bye a fortnight ago. She gave me a lucky pig to wear round my neck � it was made of bog-oak from Tipperary. We were both very genuinely affected. Since then I haven't dared go out or answer the telephone. I only came here because I knew she wouldn't be coming." "Poor John. I wonder what went wrong�I like the bit about the pig very much."
Book Two
STONES ... �20
chapter 1
Ishmaelia, that hitherto happy commonwealth, cannot conveniently be approached from any part of the world. It lies in the northeasterly quarter of Africa, giving colour by its position and shape to the metaphor often used of it: "the Heart of the Dark Continent." Desert, forest and swamp, frequented by furious nomads, protect its approaches from those more favoured regions which the statesmen of Berlin and Geneva have put to school under European masters. An inhospitable race of squireens cultivate the highlands and pass their days in the perfect leisure which those peoples alone enjoy who are untroubled by the speculative or artistic itch. Various courageous Europeans, in the seventies of the last century, came to Ishmaelia, or near it, furnished with suitable equipment of cuckoo clocks, phonographs, opera hats, draft-treaties and flags of the nations which they had been obliged to leave. They came as missionaries, ambassadors, tradesmen, prospectors, natural scientists. None returned. They were eaten, every one of them; some raw, others stewed and seasoned