Of Human Bondage - W. Somerset Maugham.mobi [159]
Here Mildred and Philip were able to get a table to themselves. Philip sent the waiter for a bottle of Burgundy from the neighboring tavern, and they had a potage aux herbes, a steak from the window aux pommes, and an omelette au kirsch. There was really an air of romance in the meal and in the place. Mildred, at first a little reserved in her appreciation—“I never quite trust these foreign places, you never know what there is in these messed-up dishes”—was insensibly moved by it.
“I like this place, Philip,” she said. “You feel you can put your elbows on the table, don’t you?”
A tall fellow came in, with a mane of grey hair and a ragged thin beard. He wore a dilapidated cloak and a wide-awake hat. He nodded to Philip, who had met him there before.
“He looks like an anarchist,” said Mildred.
“He is, one of the most dangerous in Europe. He’s been in every prison on the Continent and has assassinated more persons than any gentleman unhung. He always goes about with a bomb in his pocket, and of course it makes conversation a little difficult because if you don’t agree with him he lays it on the table in a marked manner. ”
She looked at the man with horror and surprise, and then glanced suspiciously at Philip. She saw that his eyes were laughing. She frowned a little.
“You’re getting at me.”
He gave a little shout of joy. He was so happy. But Mildred didn’t like being laughed at.
“I don’t see anything funny in telling lies.”
“Don’t be cross.”
He took her hand, which was lying on the table, and pressed it gently.
“You are lovely, and I could kiss the ground you walk on,” he said.
The greenish pallor of her skin intoxicated him, and her thin white lips had an extraordinary fascination. Her anaemia made her rather short of breath, and she held her mouth slightly open. It seemed to add somehow to the attractiveness of her face.
“You do like me a bit, don’t you?” he asked.
“Well, if I didn’t I suppose I shouldn’t be here, should I? You’re a gentleman in every sense of the word, I will say that for you.”
They had finished their dinner and were drinking coffee. Philip, throwing economy to the winds, smoked a threepenny cigar.
“You can’t imagine what a pleasure it is to me just to sit opposite and look at you. I’ve yearned for you. I was sick for a sight of you.”
Mildred smiled a little and faintly flushed. She was not then suffering from the dyspepsia which generally attacked her immediately after a meal. She felt more kindly disposed to Philip than ever before, and the unaccustomed tenderness in her eyes filled him with joy. He knew instinctively that it was madness to give himself into her hands; his only chance was to treat her casually and never allow her to see the untamed passions that seethed in his breast; she would only take advantage of his weakness; but he could not be prudent now: he told her all the agony he had endured during the separation from her; he told her of his struggles with himself, how he had tried to get over his passion, thought he had succeeded, and how he found out that it was as strong as ever. He knew that he had never really wanted to get over it. He loved her so much that he did not mind suffering. He bared his heart to her. He showed her proudly all his weakness.
Nothing would have pleased him more than to sit on in the cozy, shabby restaurant, but he knew that Mildred wanted entertainment. She was restless and, wherever she was, wanted after a while to go somewhere else. He dared not bore her.
“I say, how about going to a music-hall?” he said.
He thought rapidly that if she cared for him at all she would say she preferred to stay there.
“I was just thinking we ought to be going if we are going,” she answered.
“Come on then.”
Philip waited impatiently for the end of the performance. He had made up his mind exactly what to do, and when they got into the cab he passed his arm, as though almost by accident, round her waist. But he drew it back quickly with a little cry. He had pricked himself. She laughed.
“There, that comes of putting your arm where it’s got no business to be,