No More Parades_ A Novel - Ford Madox Ford [17]
He had happened to glance at the medical history of a man beside him and noticed that he had been described as CI...It was obviously a slip of the pen on the part of the Medical Board, or one of their orderlies. He had written C instead of A. The man was Pte. 197394 Thomas Johnson, a shining-faced lump of beef, an agricultural odd jobman from British Columbia where he had worked on the immense estates of Sylvia Tietjens' portentous ducal second cousin Rugeley. It was a double annoyance. Tietjens had not wanted to be reminded of his wife's second cousin, because he had not wanted to be reminded of his wife. He had determined to give his thoughts a field day on that subject when he got warm into his flea-bag in his hut that smelt of paraffin whilst the canvas walls crackled with frost and the moon shone...He would think of Sylvia beneath the moon. He was determined not to now! But 197394 Pte. Johnson, Thomas, was otherwise a nuisance and Tietjens cursed himself for having glanced at the man's medical history. If this preposterous yokel was C3 he could not go on a draft...C1 rather! It was all the same. That would mean finding another man to make up the strength and that would drive Sergeant-Major Cowley out of his mind. He looked up towards the ingenuous, protruding, shining, liquid, bottle-blue eyes of Thomas Johnson...The fellow had never had an illness. He could not have had an illness--except from a surfeit of cold, fat, boiled pork--and for that you would give him a horse's blue ball and drench which, ten to one, would not remove the cause of the belly-ache...
His eyes met the non-committal glance of a dark, gentlemanly thin fellow with a strikingly scarlet hatband, a lot of gilt about his khaki and little strips of steel chain-armour on his shoulders...Levin...Colonel Levin, G.S.O. II, or something, attached to General Lord Edward Campion...How the hell did fellows get into these intimacies of commanders of units and their men? Swimming in like fishes into the brown air of a tank and there at your elbow... ---- spies!...The men had all been called to attention and stood like gasping codfish. The ever-watchful Sergeant-Major Cowley had drifted to his, Tietjens', elbow. You protect your orfcers from the gawdy Staff as you protect your infant daughters in lambswool from draughts. The dark, bright, cheerful staffwallah said with a slight lisp:
'Busy, I see.' He might have been standing there for a century and have a century of the battalion headquarters' time to waste like that. 'What draft is this?'
Sergeant-Major Cowley, always ready in case his orfcer should not know the name of his unit or his own name, said:
'No. 16 I.B.D. Canadian First Division Casual Number Four Draft, sir.'
Colony Levin let air lispingly out between his teeth.
'No. 16 Draft not off yet...Dear, dear! Dear, dear!...We shall be strafed to hell by First Army...' He used the word hell as if he had first wrapped it in eau-de-cologned cotton-wadding.
Tietjens, on his feet, knew this fellow very well: a fellow who had been a very bad Society water-colour painter of good family on the mother's side: hence the cavalry gadgets on his shoulders. Would it then be good...say good taste to explode? He let the sergeant-major do it. Sergeant-Major Cowley was of the type of N.C.O. who carried weight because he knew ten times as much about his job as any Staff officer. The sergeant-major explained that it had been impossible to get off the draft earlier. The colonel said:
'But surely, sergeant-majah...'
The sergeant-major, now a deferential shopwalker in a lady's store, pointed out that they had had urgent instructions not to send up the draft without the four hundred Canadian Railway Service men who were to come from Etaples. These men had only arrived that evening at 5.30...at the railway station. Marching them up had taken three-quarters of an hour. The colonel said:
'But surely, sergeant-majah...'
Old Cowley might as well have said 'madam' as 'sir' to the red hat-band...The four-hundred had come with only what they stood up in. The unit had had to wangle everything: boots, blankets, tooth-brushes, braces, rifles, iron-rations, identity disks out of the depot store. And it was now only twenty-one twenty...Cowley permitted his commanding officer at this point to say: