Native Son - Richard Wright [79]
“Give me the gloves and get back on that bed, will you?”
He snatched them from her and gave her a shove and turned back to the dresser.
“Bigger….”
“I ain’t asking you but once more to shut up!” he said, pushing the knife out of the way so he could write.
He put on the gloves and took up the pencil in a trembling hand and held it poised over the paper. He should disguise his handwriting. He changed the pencil from his right to his left hand. He would not write it; he would print it. He swallowed with dry throat. Now, what would be the best kind of note? He thought, I want you to put ten thousand…. Naw; that would not do. Not “I.” It would be better to say “we.” We got your daughter, he printed slowly in big round letters. That was better. He ought to say something to let Mr. Dalton think that Mary was still alive. He wrote: She is safe. Now, tell him not to go to the police. No! Say something about Mary first! He bent and wrote: She wants to come home…. Now, tell him not to go to the police. Don’t go to the police if you want your daughter back safe. Naw; that ain’t good. His scalp tingled with excitement; it seemed that he could feel each strand of hair upon his head. He read the line over and crossed out “safe” and wrote “alive.” For a moment he was frozen, still. There was in his stomach a slow, cold, vast rising movement, as though he held within the embrace of his bowels the swing of planets through space. He was giddy. He caught hold of himself, focused his attention to write again. Now, about the money. How much? Yes; make it ten thousand. Get ten thousand in 5 and 10 bills and put it in a shoe box…. That’s good. He had read that somewhere…. and tomorrow night ride your car up and down Michigan Avenue from 35th Street to 40th Street. That would make it hard for anybody to tell just where Bessie would be hiding. He wrote: Blink your headlights some. When you see a light in a window blink three times throw the box in the snow and drive off. Do what this letter say. Now, he would sign it. But how? It should be signed in some way that would throw them off the trail. Oh, yes! Sign it “Red.” He printed, Red. Then, for some reason, he thought that that was not enough. Oh, yes. He would make one of those signs, like the ones he had seen on the Communist pamphlets. He wondered how they were made. There was a hammer and a round kind of knife. He drew a hammer, then a curving knife. But it did not look right. He examined it and discovered that he had left the handle off the knife. He sketched it in. Now, it was complete. He read it over. Oh! He had left out something. He had to put in the time when he wanted them to bring the money. He bent and printed again: p.s. Bring the money at midnight. He sighed, lifted his eyes and saw Bessie standing behind him. He turned and looked at her.
“Bigger, you ain’t really going to do that?” she whispered in horror.
“Sure.”
“Where’s that girl?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do know. You wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t know.”
“Aw, what difference do it make?”
She looked straight into his eyes and whispered,
“Bigger, did you kill that girl?”
His jaw clamped tight and he stood up. She turned from him and flung herself upon the bed, sobbing. He began to feel cold; he discovered that his body was covered with sweat. He heard a soft rustle and looked down at his hand; the kidnap note was shaking in his trembling fingers. But I ain’t scared, he told himself. He folded the note, put it into an envelope, sealed it by licking the flap, and shoved it in his pocket. He lay down on the bed beside Bessie and took her in his arms. He tried to speak to her and found his throat so husky that no words came.
“Come on, kid,” he whispered finally.
“Bigger, what’s happened to you?”
“It ain’t nothing. You ain’t got much to do.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Don’t be scared.”
“You told me you was never going to kill nobody.”
“I ain’t killed nobody.”
“You did! I see it in your eyes. I see it all over you.”
“Don’t you trust me, baby?”
“Where’s that girl, Bigger?”
“I don’t know.”
“How you know she won