I, Claudius - Robert Graves [148]
Every time the slave filled my cup I had drunk it straight up, and now at the tenth or twelfth draught I felt like a lion. I answered boldly: "Extremely grateful. Grandmother, to be safe among the Carthaginians and Etruscans. But will you tell me just why I'm dining here today?"
She smiled: "Well, I admit that your presence at table still causes me a certain amount of... But never mind.
If I have broken one of my oldest rules that is my affair, not yours. Do you dislike me, Claudius? Be frank."
"Probably as much as you dislike me. Grandmother."
[Could this be my own voice speaking?]
Caligula sniggered, Urgulania tittered, Livia laughed: "Frank enough! By the way, have you noticed that monster there? He's been keeping unusually quiet during the meal."
"Who, Grandmother?"
"That nephew of yours."
"Is he a monster?"
"Don't pretend you don't know it. You are a monster aren't you, Caligula?"
"Whatever you say, Great-grandmother," Caligula said with downcast eyes.
"Well, Claudius, that monster there, your nephew—I'll tell you about him. He's going to be the next Emperor."
I thought it was a joke. I said smilingly: "If you tell me so. Grandmother, it is so. But what are his recommendations? He's the youngest of the family and though he has given evidences of great natural talent..."
"You mean that they won't any of them stand a chance against Sejanus and your sister Livilla?"
I was astounded at the freedom of the conversation. "I didn't mean anything of the sort. I never concern myself with high politics. I only meant that he's young yet, much too young to be Emperor; and that as a prophecy it seems rather a long shot."
"Not a long shot at all. Tiberius will make him his successor. No question of it. Why? Because Tiberius is like that. He has the same vanity as poor Augustus had: he can't bear the idea of a successor who will be more popular than himself. But at the same time he does all he can to make himself hated and feared. So, when he feels that his time's nearly up, he'll search for someone just a little worse than himself to succeed him. And he'll find Caligula. There is one deed that Caligula has already done which puts him in a far higher rank of criminality than Tiberius can ever now attain."
"Please, Great-grandmother..." Caligula pleaded.
"All right, monster, your secret's safe with me so long as you behave."
"Does Urgulania know the secret?" I asked.
"No. It's between the monster and myself."
"Did he confess it voluntarily?"
"Certainly not. He's not the confessing sort. I found out about it by accident. I was searching his bedroom one night to see if he was trying any schoolboy tricks on me—whether he was doing any amateur black magic, for instance, or distilling poisons or anything of the sort. I came across...''
"Please, Great-grandmother."
"A green object that told me a very remarkable story.
But I gave it back to him."
Urgulania said grinning: "Thrasyllus said I'm going to die this year, so I won't have the pleasure of living in your reign, Caligula, unless you hurry up and murder Tiberius!"
I turned to Livia: "Is he going to do that. Grandmother?"
Caligula said: "Is it safe for Uncle Claudius to be told things? Or are you going to poison him?"
She answered; "Oh, he's quite safe, without any poison.
I want you two to know each other better than you do.
That's one reason for this dinner. Listen, Caligula. Your uncle Claudius is a phenomenon. He's so old-fashioned that because he's sworn an oath to love and protect his brother's children you can always impose on him