Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh [84]
'Just come from one, ' said Mulcaster. 'Too early for the Old Hundredth. I'll stay on a bit. Things may cheer up.'
'I spit on you,' said Anthony. 'Let me talk to you, Charles.' We took a bottle and our glasses and found a comer in another room. At our feet five members of the 'Black Birds' orchestra squatted on their heels and threw dice.
'That one, ' said Anthony, 'the rather pale one, my dear, conked Mrs Arnold Frickheimer the other morning on the nut, my dear, with a bottle of milk.'
Almost immediately, inevitably, we began to talk of Sebastian.
'My dear, he's such a sot. He came to live with me in Marseille last year when you threw him over, and really it was as much as I could stand. Sip, sip, sip like a dowager all day long. And so sly. I was always missing little things, my dear, things I rather liked; once I lost two suits that had arrived from Lesley and Roberts that morning. Of course, I didn't know it was Sebastian—there were some rather queer fish, my dear, in and out of my little apartment. Who knows better than you my taste for queer fish? Well, eventually, my dear, we found the pawnshop where Sebastian was p-p-popping them and then he hadn't got the tickets; there was a market for them, too, at the bistro.
'I can see that puritanical, disapproving look in your eye, dear Charles, as though you thought I had led the boy on. It's one of Sebastian's less lovable qualities that he always gives the impression of being l-1-led on—like a little horse at a circus. But I assure you I did everything. I said to him again and again, "Why drink? If you want to be intoxicated there are so many much more delicious things." I took him to quite the best man; well, you know him as well as I do, Nada Alopov and Jean Luxmore and everyone we know has been to him for years—he's always in the Regina Bar—and then we had trouble over that because Sebastian gave him a bad cheque—a s-s-stumer, my dear—and a whole lot of very menacing men came round to the flat thugs, my dear—and Sebastian was making no sense at the time and it was all most unpleasant.'
Boy Mulcaster wandered towards us and sat down, without encouragement, by my side.
'Drink running short in there,' he said, helping himself from our bottle and emptying it. 'Not a soul in the place I ever set eyes on before—all black fellows.'
Anthony ignored him and continued: 'So then we left Marseille and went to Tangier, and there, my dear, Sebastian took up with his new friend. How can I describe him? He is like the footman in Warning Shadows—a great clod of a German who'd been in the Foreign Legion. He got out by shooting off his great toe. It hadn't healed yet. Sebastian found him, starving as tout to one of the houses in the Kasbah, and brought him to stay with us. It was too macabre. So back I came, my dear, to good old England—Good old England,' he repeated, embracing with a flourish of his hand the Negroes gambling at our feet, Mulcaster staring blankly before him, and our hostess who, in pyjamas, now introduced herself to us.
'Never seen you before,' she said. 'Never asked you. Who are all this white trash, anyway? Seems to me I must be in the wrong house.'
'A time of national emergency,' said Mulcaster. 'Anything may happen.'
'Is the party going well?' she asked anxiously. 'D'you think Florence Mills would sing? We've met before,' she added to Anthony.
'Often, my dear, but you never asked me tonight.'
'Oh dear, perhaps I don't like you. I thought I liked everyone.'
'Do you think,' asked Mulcaster, when our hostess had left us, 'that it might be witty to give the fire alarm?'
'Yes, Boy, run away and ring it.'
'Might cheer things up, I mean.'
'Exactly.'
So Mulcaster left us in search of the telephone.
'I think Sebastian and his lame chum went to French Morocco,' continued Anthony. 'They were in trouble with the Tangier police when I left them. The Marchioness has been a positive pest ever since I came to London, trying to make me get into touch with them. What a time that poor woman's having! It only shows there's some justice in life.'