Appointment in Samarra - John O'Hara [39]
The obvious reason. I have a theory, Joe. I ve always told myself that when I loved a man enough to want to marry him, I d have an affair with him before we announced the engagement, and then have a short engagement and get married practically right away.
Oh. That means you haven t really been in love all your life.
No. It doesn’t mean that. Not quite. But I haven t been in love since I made that decision. Since I ve found out more about sex. God! Is that clock right?
A few minutes fast.
How many minutes fast?
Oh. I don t know.
No, honestly. Even if it s a half hour fast look what time that means. We ve got to go back. I hate to, but please, darling?
All right, he said. Half way back to town she remembered something that made her want to let out a cry, to melt away, to die. The worst of it was she would have to tell him now. Joe, darling, she said. Yes, ma am.
I just remembered something, the worst thing I can think of. Oh, damn it all. I wish people ...
What is it?
I m not going to be able to see you tomorrow night.
Why not? Can t you break it?
No. I should have told you before, but I didn’t know we were I was going to. All this tonight, about us. Some people are coming over from Gibbsville to see me off.
Who? Who is the guy?
Well, it s not just one person. There is a man
Who? Do I know him?
I don t know. Julian English. He s coming, and some people named Ogden. I think you know them.
Froggy? Sure. I ve met English a couple of times, too. He s a college boy, isn’t he?
No. He s out.
Are you in love with him? I hope not. He isn’t so hot. He cheats at cards. He takes dope.
He does not! she exclaimed. He doesn’t do any such thing. He drinks too much, maybe.
Oh, darling, don t you know when I m fooling? I don t know anything about him. I m not even sure I d know him if I saw him. Yes, I would. But you’re not in love with him, are you?
I m in love with you. Oh, I do love you. And that s what makes it worse. I wish you could come along tomorrow night, my last night before I sail. But I don t think that d be so good.
Oh, no. Mr. English wouldn’t like it.
It isn’t that. I m not only thinking of him. But Jean and Froggy are coming all the way from Gibbsville just to see me off and we planned a big bender in New York tomorrow night. I m not a bit pleased about it now, but there s nothing I can do at this late date.
No, I guess you’re right, damn it. You certainly are the will o the wisp if I ever saw it.
Are you going to write to me, a lot?
Fourteen Place Vend?e, every day.
How did you know?
Oh, you’re a Morgan, Harjes girl, as distinguished from an American Express girl. I ll write every day and cable every week-end. And what will I get for it? A postcard that I d be ashamed to show to my own mother and a scarf from Liberty s and maybe a Dunhill lighter.
They stopped and bought a comb at a drug store before she would go in the Commodore, where she and Lib McCreery and Is Stannard, Bryn Mawr classmates who were going abroad with her, were stopping. The breeze ended when they stopped the car, and the heat came back and everything began to get a little unsatisfactory and she wanted to go to her room and lie in the water. Their farewell was hurried and she was too conscious of looking like the wrath of God to enjoy any minute of it. That was one of the things he commented on in his first letters. He had to stay in New York, in the heat, while she was cooling off and feeling like a human being on shipboard. Her letters were ardent and pleasant and pleased, full of new and sudden love. Nicholas Murray Butler and Anne Morgan and Eddie Cantor and Genevieve Tobin and Joseph E. Widener were on board. I wonder if I love him became a song the way she said it, and she would sing over and over to herself: I won-der, I won-der.
Who? Joe Widener? said Lib. The Joe part is right.
Joe English, the boy that came down to the boat?
His name is Ju, j u for Julian.
Well, who is it, then?
You wouldn’t know, said Caroline. Oh, I know. The man who brought you back to the hotel in that awful condition.
That s the one.