All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren [178]
I hung up the receiver and looked up to see, in the light that came to the hall from the door to the back passage, Anne standing a few feet from me, just tying the bow to the end of the second pigtail. “It was my mother,” I explained. She and the Pattons are going to La Grange.” Then added, “She won’t be back till late.”
As I said that last, I was suddenly aware of the emptiness of the house, the dark rooms around us, the weight of darkness stored above us, stuffing the rooms and the attic, spilling thickly but weightlessly down the stairs, and aware of the darkness outside. As I looked into Anne’s face there wasn’t a sound in the house. Outside there was the drip on leaved and on the roof, now subsiding. Then my heart took a big knock, and I felt the new blood coursing through me as though somebody had opened a sluice gate.
I was looking right into Anne’s face, and doing so, I knew, and knew that she knew, that this was the moment the great current of the summer had been steadily moving toward all the time. I turned around and moved slowly up the hall toward the foot of the stairs. I could tell at first whether she was following or not. Then I knew she was. I climbed the stairs, and knew she was following about four steps behind me.
At the end of the stairs, in the upstairs hall, I didn’t even pause or look around. I moved up the hall, which was pitch dark, toward the door of my room. My hand touched the knob in the dark, and I pushed the door open and entered. There was a little light in the room, for the night had, apparently, cleared for the moment, and too, the glare of the gallery light below was reflected up from the wet leaves. I stood to one side, with my hand still on the knob of the door, while she walked into the room. She didn’t even glance at me as she came in. She took about three steps into the room and stopped. I closed the door and moved toward the white-clothed narrow figure; but she did not turn around. I stood behind her, drawing her shoulders back against me and folding my forearms over her bosom and putting my dry lips down against her hair. Meanwhile her arms hung loosely at her sides. We stood that way for a couple of minutes, like lovers in an advertisement watching a dramatic sunset or the ocean or Niagara Falls. But we weren’t watching anything. We were standing in the middle of a bare, shadowy room (iron bed, old dresser, pine table, trunks and books, and male gear–for I hadn’t let my mother turn that room into a museum and staring across the room out into the dark tops of the trees which all at once began to stir with a wind off the Gulf and rattle in an increase of rain.
Then Anne lifted her arms and folded them before her so that one of her hands was on each of mine. “Jackie,” she said in a low voice, which wasn’t, however, a whisper, “Jackie-Bird, I came up here.”
She had come, all right.
I began to undo the hooks and eyes down the back of the white dress. She stood absolutely still, as good and obedient, with a pigtail hanging back over each shoulder. The fact the light cloth was damp and clingy didn’t make things easier. I kept fumbling the God-damned hooks and eyes. Then I came to the sash. It was tied in a bow on the left side, I remember. I got that free, and it fell to the floor, and I began again on the dress. She was as patient, standing there with her arms at her side, a though I were a dressmaker and she were having a fitting. She didn’t say anything except when I, in my clumsiness and confusion, tried to pull the dress down over her hips. “No,” she said then, in the same low voice as before, “no, this way,” and lifted her bare arm above her head. I noticed, even then, that she didn’t let the fingers fall loose in the natural way, but held them together on each hand, and almost straight, as though she were lifting her arms for a dive and had stopped just before completing the preliminary posture. I drew the dress over her head and stood there with it clutched foolishly in my hands before I got the wit to lay it across a chair.