All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren [153]
But it didn’t ring.
Instead, after about a week, one night as I turned the corner of the corridor, I saw a woman sitting on the bench down beyond my door. I fumbled for my key, inserted it in the lock, and was about to enter when I was aware that the woman stood beside me. I swung toward her. It was Anne Stanton.
She had made no sound on the deep carpet. Not with her light foot.
“You gave me heart failure,” I said, and swung the door wide, and added, “Come in.”
“I thought you were so careful about my reputation,” she said. “At least you claimed to be. Once.”
“I remember,” I said, “but come in anyway.”
She walked into the room and stood in the middle of the floor with her back to me while I shut the door. I noticed that she had a brown manila envelope in her hand, with her bag.
No turning to me, she stepped to the desk by the wall and flung down the envelope. “There it is,” she said. “The photostats. I brought them back. But I would have brought back the originals if you had trusted me with them.”
“I know it,” I said.
“It was awful,” she said, still not turning to me.
I went across to her and touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“It was awful. You don’t know.”
I didn’t know how awful. So I stood there just behind her and didn’t dare to touch her again, even with the weight of my finger.
“You don’t know,” she said.
“No,” I said, “I don’t.”
“It was awful.” The she turned to put her wide eyes on me, and I had the impression of stumbling into a well. “It was awful,” she said. “I gave them to him–those things–and he read them and then he just stood there–he didn’t move–he didn’t make a sound–and his face was white as a sheet and I could hear him breathing. Then I touched him–and he looked at me–he looked at me a long time. Then he said–he looked at me and said, ‘You.” That was what he said, ‘You.” Looking at me.”
“God damn it,” I said, “God damn it, what’s he blaming you for, why doesn’t he blame Governor Stanton?”
“He does,” she said. “Oh, he blames him. That is what is so awful. The way he blames him. His father. You remember–you remember, Jack–” she reached out and laid her hand on my forearm–“you remember–our father–how he was–how he used to read to us–how he loved us–how he taught Adam and how proud he was on him–how he took all that time to teach Adam himself–oh, Jack, he sat there in front of the fire and I was a little girl and he would read to us and I put my head against his knee–oh, Jack–you remember?”
“I remember,” I said
“Yes,” she said, “yes–and mother was dead and father did all he could–he was so proud of Adam–and now Adam–and now–” She released my arm, and stepped back and lifted her hands, putting her fingers to her forehead in a distracted gesture. “Oh, Jack, what Have I done?” she whispered.
“You did what you thought you ought to do,” I said firmly.
“Yes,” she whispered, “yes, that was it.”
“It’s done now,” I said.
“Yes, it is done,” she said, out loud, and her jaw closed with an expression which suddenly made her look like Adam, the mouth firm and sealed, the skin drawn and tight on the flesh, and she lifted her head to stare the world down, and I felt like bursting into tears. If that had been my habit.
“Yes,” I said, “it’s done.”
“He’ll do it,” she said.
And I almost demanded, What, do what? For, for the moment, I had forgotten the reason that I had told Anne the facts, the reason that I had given her the photostats, the reason that she had shown them to her brother. I had forgotten that there was a reason. But I remembered now, and questioned, “You persuaded him?”
“No,” she shook her head slowly, “no, I didn’t say anything. I gave those things to him. He knew.”
“What happened?”
“What I told you. He looked at me hard, and said ‘You.’ Just like that. Then I said, ‘Adam, don’t say it that way, you mustn’t, Adam, you mustn’t!’ And he said, ‘Why?’ And I said, ‘Because I love you, because I love him, love Father.’ And he kept on looking at me, then said, ‘Love him!’ Then, ‘Damn his soul to hell!’ I called out, ‘Adam, Adam,’ but he turned his back on me, and walked across the room to his bedroom door and went in and shut the door. Then I went out and walked by myself, in the dark, for a long time. So I could sleep. For three days I didn