A Bend in the River - V.S. Naipaul [30]
I began to see his face more clearly.
I said, “You will take this book back to Father Huismans. If you don’t, I will take it back myself. And I will see that he sends you home for good.”
He looked blank, as though he had been attacked. Then I noticed Metty on the ladder. Metty was nervous, tense; his eyes betrayed him. And I knew I had made a mistake, saving up all my anger for Ferdinand.
Ferdinand’s eyes went bright, and the whites showed clearly. So that, at this terrible moment, he seemed like a comic in an old-time film. He appeared to lean forward, to be about to lose his balance. He took a deep breath. His eyes never left my face. He was spitting with rage; his sense of injury had driven him mad. His arms hung straight and loose at his sides, so that they seemed longer than usual. His hands curled without clenching. His mouth was open. But what I had thought was a smile was no smile at all. If the light had been better I would have seen that at the beginning.
He was frightening, and the thought came to me: This is how he will look when he sees his victim’s blood, when he watches his enemy being killed. And climbing on that thought was another: “This is the rage that flattened the town.”
I could have pushed harder, and turned that high rage into tears. But I didn’t push. I thought I had given them both a new idea of the kind of man I was, and I left them in the storeroom to cool down. After some time I heard them talking, but softly.
At four o’clock, closing time, I shouted to Metty. And he, glad of the chance to come out and be active, said, “Patron,” and frowned to show how seriously he took the business of closing up the shop.
Ferdinand came out, quite calm, walking with a light step. He said, “Salim?” I said, “I will take the book back.” And I watched him walk up the red street, tall and sad and slow below the leafless flamboyants, past the rough market shacks of his town.
4
Father Huismans wasn’t in when I went to the lycée with the book. There was a young Belgian in the outer office, and he told me that Father Huismans liked to go away for a few days from time to time. Where did he go? “He goes into the bush. He goes to all those villages,” the young man—secretary or teacher—said, with irritation. And he became more irritated when I gave him the gymnasium book.
He said, “They come and beg to be admitted to the lycée. As soon as you take them in they start stealing. They would carry away the whole school if you let them. They come and beg you to look after their children. Yet in the streets they jostle you to show you they don’t care for you.” He didn’t look well. He was pale, but the skin below his eyes was dark, and he sweated as he talked. He said, “I’m sorry. It would be better for you to talk to Father Huismans. You must understand that it isn’t easy for me here. I’ve been living on honey cake and eggs.”
It sounded as though he had been put on an especially rich diet. Then I understood that he was really telling me he was starving.
He said, “Father Huismans had the idea this term of giving the boys African food. Well, that seemed all right. There’s an African lady in the capital who does wonderful things with prawns and shellfish. But here it was caterpillars and spinach in tomato sauce. Or what looked like tomato sauce. The first day! Of course, it was only for the boys, but the sight of it turned my stomach. I couldn’t stay in the hall and watch them chew. I can’t bring myself to eat anything from the kitchens now. I don’t have cooking facilities in my room, and at the van der Weyden there’s this sewer smell from the patio. I’m leaving. I’ve got to go. It’s all right for Huismans. He’s a priest. I’m not a priest. He goes into the bush. I don’t want to go into the bush.”
I couldn’t help him.